fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6081 ]

[ SECRET POST #6081 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6081 ⌋

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I keep turning into this asshole online. I don't know why. I'm not like that irl, I don't like how it makes me feel, and I keep resolving to stop, and yet I keep doing this!?

The algorithm has hijacked your brain. It is trying its hardest to keep you as angry as possible.

DA

Eh, the algorithm (a.k.a.multiple instances of machine learning) is only part of it. Online anonymity is a larger contributing factor.

I had to stop using some social media apps because they were stressing me out and wrecking my mood. I tried curating my follows and feed but the design of some apps is just not good for my brain, I get stressed out on them and end up debating pointless stuff. If you find yourself getting irritated on certain sites or apps, it might help to take a break from them. I don't know your situation, there might be certain topics that don't come up IRL that are not good for you emotionally and would be healthier to avoid discussing online, or it may be an outlet for stress that you could handle differently. It might sound like cheesy advice but for me online related stress got a lot better when I started setting aside more time for my IRL hobbies and making sure I wasn't automatically going to sites and apps that stressed me out in my free time anymore. Also taking time for doing my fandom hobbies without engaging in social media discussion has helped me chill out and reconnect with why I enjoy the hobbies in the first place. Not sure whether any of that will apply to you, feel free to disregard anything that isn't relevant. I hope you figure out where this is coming from and can get some peace of mind.

+1 to all of this.

DA/NAYRT

Agreed on stepping away from social media. I slowly stopped going on Twitter last year just due to life getting busy.
I slowly began to do self improvement stuff too and I recall just finding Twitter less and less appealing.

First it was boredom, nothing interesting on there anymore.

Then Elon Musk's takeover indicated I wasn't going to go on there if I can help it since I didn't know if my DMs would save/go through so my friends and I found other avenues to communicate.

And then a few months ago I went on there for the first time in weeks/months and there was a tweet that just rubbed me the wrong way that I thought to myself, "I don't like to be on this app, I'm going to delete it."
Haven't bothered to go back. Didn't join Threads or Tiktok or anything to replace it.

I don't miss it, and I'm trying to pick up some new hobbies. I've been slowly but surely building better repertoire with my IRL friends.

Also, I created a Tumblr where all I do is reblog and follow self healing and supportive trauma recovery blogs. Some can be a bit woowoo and sappy but it's working for me in terms of reminding myself to stop being so critical towards myself and others. Focus more on improving me and allowing myself to feel safe feeling my feelings.

Sorry it went into my mental health lol but just to say, that asshole side is there for a reason and if you truly want to get rid of the asshole or understand why it's there...for me, it came from acknowledging that I had to work on myself. I hurt people both intentionally and unintentionally because I was hurting a lot and I didn't know how to heal the hurt.

Admitting you're an asshole seems like the hard part...and it's fucking painful, but learning to do better for the sake of YOU has been the fucking fight of my life. I still say hurtful and mean things, I still end up projecting my insecurities/negative feelings onto others.
It's a lifelong process is what many have said, and uh yeah I think that's true.

Yeah, same. I try not to spend too much of my time anywhere. But it still affects me.
Also sometimes I am being more angry and bitter here than I usually am. I wouldn't say that I am especially nice person IRL but I can mostly control myself. Internet+anonymity = I am sliding into bitchy persona fast

I'm kind of like that, except I am an asshole IRL. But I try to lessen the degree of my assholishness by generally staying away from people unless I really have to interact with them. Also I know it's probably depression manifesting itself as frustration at the state of the world and feeling like I can't fucking do shit about it.

Sorry for jacking your rant. Would totally understand if you deemed it necessary to call me names, and not the sexy kind.

nayrt

I can understand getting in that headspace. I actually think taking time on your own can be a good thing when you're feeling that way, but something I like to do is try to have... I guess high quality alone time? Like, do hobbies I enjoy, look at pretty stuff, take care of myself physically and emotionally... Like just because I'm by myself I don't want to be treating myself any less well than I would with someone watching. That can help me with feeling less irritable towards other people, though I definitely get in my moods.

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