fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6101 ]

[ SECRET POST #6101 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6101 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Symphony of War]

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[Doctor Who]

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So I was just reading through yesterday's thread, and someone was talking about a work lunch and whether or not they should get the food to go if they couldn't finish it all, and there were a couple people saying they shouldn't/implying it would be unprofessional and one person that said if they did it would mean they "weren't an equal" to their boss, but no one explained *why* this is, and I am so fucking confused.

If you're not supposed to get it to go, are you supposed to force yourself to eat it all? Or just leave it there? How is wasting food "more professional" than not/how does it make you more equal to your boss?

It's just honestly never crossed my mind that you *wouldn't* get it to go if there's more than a couple bites left/it's something you like and would be good reheated. I'm just so baffled about why it would be inappropriate. Can anyone explain, please?

It's because of class. It's a generally accepted tactic for being hired and being promoted to project the same financial class as the hiring manager or the boss. The more you can make yourself seem like One of Us, the better your chances of being hired/promoted. A rich person wouldn't give a shit about leftovers. So, to ask for a to-go bag in front of a boss who has that kind of money/attitude is saying that you're poor and not One of Us, thus worsening your chances of being promoted.

That's why people were saying to only do it if the boss does it.

what the actual fuck is this take. no one in my 30 years of working has ever given a shit about class. my partner's extremely corporate workplace would never consider someone "looking poor" as a metric for promotion. where do you live that anyone would actually think this, seriously, for real?

You think snobbery doesn't exist and has never cost anyone a job?

OP of this thread

Yeah. It's such a bizarre take that it didn't even occur to me. I can't imagine even rich people being bothered about that.

I'd say that's nice, but not necessarily the norm. Sure, if you straight up ask the hiring manager at a big corporation if they discriminate against poor people, of course, they'll say no. But would they look askance at someone who arrives driving a junker, old/outdated thrift store clothes? How about someone who always packs their lunches, doesn't join co-workers when they go out to eat/grab a drink after work?

Discrimination based on perceived wealth and social class is very much a thing, even if you're (somehow) in a place where people don't do it.

AYRT

Congrats on the privilege.

Yeah I have worked actual government jobs and even those didn't give a shit about something like that. In fact, I'd say they'd look more poorly on someone who wastes perfectly good food instead of just getting a doggy bag to go.

People get laid off and fired for being homeless, or for living at a homeless shelter! They apply for jobs and list their address as the shelter's. Then their address gets Googled and they may not get hired! You never, ever heard of people not wanting to hire poor and/or homeless people before?!

That's something completely different from taking your leftovers home from a restaurant because you don't want to waste food.

People discriminate people outside of their perceived socioeconomic group, yes. This disadvantages people in certain groups more than others, yes. But the take that taking a doggy bag from the restaurant because the portion is too big to eat in one sitting will make your boss think you are poor AND keep them from promoting you because of said poorness is a lot.

DA

That kind of subtle discrimination happens a lot.

Subtle discrimination is absolutely a thing, yes. But there are situations where it's more likely to occur than others. Having the address of a shelter on your application materials is an example where it's more likely. Taking leftovers home with you in 2023? Less likely.

Commenters are saying, what if the boss is some rich guy who'll think OP is poor because they took their leftovers home and then not promote OP because of discrimination.

Unless OP's boss is Elon Musk, it's far more likely that boss is a regular person who also frequents regular restaurants and has most likely taken home a doggy bag or two themselves during their lifetime. Especially since they're going to a restaurant that's affordable enough that OP has been there multiple times before and that serves big enough portions to even need the doggy bag in the first place. Swanky restaurants that are frequented by rich people don't serve such huge portions.

If you really want to make sure you're not perceived as poor in this situation, you can throw in a line about how much you like this place, but the portions are just always too big - making it clear you eat here often, i. e. not poor since you have enough money to eat out. Problem solved and OP can still take their doggy bag home.

Swanky restaurants that are frequented by rich people don't serve such huge portions.

100% this. I've been to Michelin-starred restaurants for work lunches before and guess what? They serve small portions that don't leave you enough left over to take home.

AYRT
Asking to take home leftovers in a "doggy bag" can be considered an act of "poor" people. A wealthier person can afford to waste what is left and let it be thrown away. People assume you don't have enough money if you might take home your leftover food and they may not hire you.

You don't have to be poor to not want to waste food, especially if it's something you really like.

Also, if it's your boss, them not hiring you is not really a concern.

AYRT
Well, I wrote the comment above w/o fully reading what you wrote! My bad.

I've worked in an office exactly like that. Private accountancy firm. The women were meat and the men were promoted on how posh they were. Interestingly not on race lines though. If you were posh you were posh, regardless of your ethnic background.

Don't miss that job. Used to get groped a lot. Bleurgh.

It's so bizarre that anyone is arguing with you on this. Taking leftovers home isn't even necessarily about money; what if you're full but the food is good so you want to eat more of it the next day? Are you supposed to be expected to go all the way back to the restaurant and order a whole new course of the same thing a second day in a row? That would just be silly, and not only for financial reasons.

It's not about the act of taking leftovers home in general. The circumstances are "in front of the boss". You have to take the context into account.

DA

That's the thing, if context matters then context matters and the *way* in which you take things home would also impact the results. "Oh this is so good but I can't finish it, I'm going to take this to enjoy it later, thanks so much for introducing me to this restaurant (implying you'd visit again on your own)" is markedly different from "I need a doggy bag pls, I'm going to have these leftovers for dinner" even if your boss is a classist asshole and nobody is acknowledging that *how* you do this matters.

Rich people take things home all the time too.

Depends on the rich person, which is why people were saying to only do if it the boss does it.

And some people, especially in fussy Middle Management positions, consider it a social faux pas and unseemly. And you will have no idea which type your boss is. This isn't a social event, this is a business event and you need to suck up to rhe boss. So read the room and follow their example for the sake of your career.

It's not actually that big a deal. It depends a bit on your job and boss but I'd say in most cases it's absolutely fine.

A similar question came up on askamanager.org recently and Alison also said it's fine. I'd trust AAM on questions about professional conduct any day over fandom secrets.

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