I definitely know these feelings. I also feel extremely unsafe around people like this. I guess it makes sense if someone thinks they can tell who is a literal pedophile and predator based solely on the fiction they write and not how they treat actual real people, it's not surprising those people go from nice to nasty in one second flat... No wonder I really don't feel safe around those people!

And yep, having been branded as one of the "bad people" in a fandom of antis and getting people warning other people off of me has made me feel like I'm toxic and no one should be friends with me lest their reputation also tank, even though I know I have done nothing wrong. (Well, I mean, everyone makes mistakes, obviously, so I'm not saying I'm a perfect human being. But nothing I've done is anywhere near the point where it makes sense to have half the fandom shunning me, and certainly none of the mistakes I've made that actually matter lie within the fiction I've written...)

And yeah, nowadays I really don't open up to anyone in fandom unless they've demonstrated sufficiently proship opinions.