I feel like this is probably something only you will be able to figure out the answer to... there are a lot of reasons why you might feel that way, and it's likely coming from a personal place. It could be because you're uncomfortable on some level with feelings of attraction, but that's just a guess, it might have nothing to do with your situation. I know this is probably an unsatisfying answer, it sounds like a confusing thing to be feeling. It might be worth thinking about your feelings towards relationships and attraction more generally to see if you can better understand where this thought process is coming from.