[ SECRET POST #6226 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6226 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 35 secrets from Secret Submission Post #890.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Meh, I think Azem was a close friend but like... I'm sorry, but Emet's words and motivations sound to much like ableist bullshit I hear all the time in real life as someone wheelchair bound. I cannot ship my self-insert with him.

[(Anonymous)]

"wheelchair bound"

... okay wait what because I was told that you should never use that phrase in regard to someone who uses a wheelchair (by someone who actually uses a wheelchair)

[(Anonymous)]

DA but what? What was their reasoning?

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT but I was told it was negative and made their disability all about the wheelchair. A lot (though I am sure not all) prefer 'wheelchair user'.

[(Anonymous)]

Actual AYRT of the previous comment and yes, that's exactly what they told me.

[(Anonymous)]

What they told me was that "wheelchair bound" implies both that being in a wheelchair is like some sort of punishment and also that it reduces the person's identity down to their wheelchair. They said the preferred term is "wheelchair user" because that's more neutral and basically doesn't make the person's identity reliant on their wheelchair.

[(Anonymous)]

That's wild to me. I3ve grown up with family members that are in wheelchairs and use wheelchair bound. Its not a term any of us have really thought about other than just a factual description.

Of course if someone said they didn't want me to use that term I would stop, I've just never encountered anyone who had a problem with it. Thanks for explaining!

[(Anonymous)]

Preferred term by whom? What about people who don't like or even resent their wheelchairs? What about people who have an antagonistic relationship to their disability -- not due to ableism, but due to the fact that disability is often hard and painful and really sucks?

And how does "wheelchair user" bypass reducing someone's identity to their wheelchair? How is that not just playing language games? It's still an aspect of a person that's going to be inextricably linked to how people think and conceive of them, to how people identify them.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel like this is one of those cases where it's okay for people in the group in question to choose to use that word to describe themselves if they want, but it's not okay for people outside the group to use that word simply because there are a lot of people in the group who AREN'T okay with it.

[(Anonymous)]

Is that really a good metric, though? What if a lot of the group objects to word A, but a lot of the group also objects to word B, and so on and so forth? Which subset of the group gets to decide which word is okay for outsiders to use? What if the people who prefer a certain term are actually a minority, but they just happen to be very, very loud? Why do they get to decide for everyone?

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, there's someone downthread who says they're insulted by the preferred word. So are they supposed to just be like, "well, I guess I just have to deal with my own preferred word being anathema and the word I hate being the default while I have lots of internal debates with my group?"

Something I think about when it comes to this stuff is the fact that all groups are subject to posturing and clout-chasing and hierarchy, right? Who's gonna enforce the norms, including the words that are okay to use vs the ones that aren't? The people with the most power in the group. You usually in these cases have a very loud minority saying something isn't okay, building that up into a rigid source of "right" vs "wrong," and then using that to keep in-group in line and justify castigation of out-group. Meanwhile, lots of people don't agree, and are even hurt by the status quo, but can't be heard over the megaphone of the self-appointed spokespeople.

[(Anonymous)]

I mean I clearly use a wheelchair. So like... I think I should get to say what I call myself?

Some people don't like it. Just like some people prefer differently abled or disabled. My wheelchair isn't a punishment, but it's also a big part of my life and I feel like saying that I just use it and am not bound to it to live my life is, frankly, insulting. I cannot go anywhere without it. I will NEVER be able to go anywhere without it. And sorry, but a big part of me is always going to be the wheelchair. People won't magically not notice it.