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Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2024-03-11 07:25 pm
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[ SECRET POST #6275 ]


⌈ Secret Post #6275 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 24 secrets from Secret Submission Post #897.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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(Anonymous) 2024-03-11 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Sometimes being petty is good, OP. At least it's less pressure on you and tbh I get feeling the satisfaction at seeing stuff fall apart just because you won't allow anyone to push you around anymore. Sure, people can sometimes have IRL obligations that get in the way of fan projects but it seems like you've had to deal with years of drop-outs so yeah, I get it.

(Anonymous) 2024-03-11 11:52 pm (UTC)(link)
FIJAGH

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
Yep, fandom is just a hobby. The thing is, in other group hobbies, people who fail to show up at meetups when they said they'd be there, fail to keep promises, and fail to do their part in anything because it's "just a hobby" without thinking that perhaps failing to do things they have said they'd do might ruin other people's fun, are generally considered shitters.

Why should the fandom hobby be different?

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 12:16 am (UTC)(link)
I dunno, man, part of the reason I'm not in many RL hobby groups that do things like that is that I don't need the stress, but I do remember the first time I said I'd show up to help run an event for a group like that and couldn't do it and had a panic attack and turned up an hour late without any of the prep I said I'd do, and all the other people told me to stop worrying about it so much, it was just a hobby and wasn't that important.

And FIJAGH was coined by RL fan-groups whose main activities were publishing zines and organizing conventions, activities that are very reliant on people showing up for things they promised, as a reminder to people who forgot that the commitments and projects were one way to facilitate fun and not the actual point of the hobby.

But good on you for realizing it wasn't fun for you anymore and stopping! That's what you're supposed to do.

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 12:29 am (UTC)(link)
AYRT

I'm not OP, just commenting on your comment. None of what you said changes my opinion, though.

Make promises and don't follow through once or twice? Maybe a pass, emergencies happen to everyone. A habit of ditching and not caring because it's just fandom? Shitter.

All of that can be true at the same time as "you shouldn't take fandom seriously enough to have panic attacks over."

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 12:34 am (UTC)(link)
Also, to use your example: the people you failed to keep promises to, can tell you "it's just fandom, don't worry about it." Those people can even mean it, and not really mind! You, in that situation, though, don't get to tell other people "it's just fandom, stop caring that I let a bunch of you down" without being a dismissive asshole.

Lots of people do the latter thing. I hope you understand the difference there.

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 12:48 am (UTC)(link)
It's good to show grace, and to keep "fun" at the center of these sorts of things. Some people can get so obsessed with the organizational side of a hobby that they become killjoys, sucking all the delight out of it and transforming it into a chore.

On the other hand, consider what would have happened (and does happen) to those zines, conventions, and other fandom activities if a critical mass of people decided that, since it's just fandom, there was no reason for them to honor their commitments or obligations.

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
That's all true. But part of the point of FIJAGH is that if all those things stop happening, it's not a disaster. If there aren't enough people left having fun making them happen, they should stop, and that's fine, because it's just a goddamn hobby. There are situations where you can't do that - you can't just say running a fire department isn't fun anymore, let's quit - but fandom is not one of those. If you're not having fun it's already not serving its purpose.

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 10:36 am (UTC)(link)
Unfortunately in a hypothetical practical reality of X% of people working really hard to organize something only to have a critical mass Y% of people ditching without warning and making it unable to happen at all, saying FIJAGH doesn't magically make those X% of people's time and effort not have been wasted. And a lot of the time it happens like that, with people pretending they're totally in until it's too late, promising they'll be there, saying they'll totally make it. Not people saying they can't make it beforehand and people calling off a thing due to lack of interest.

In the latter scenario, where people say they are busy and don't make promises, sure FIJAGH! No one's holding it against you! Not everyone has time to participate in stuff, RL takes priority, everyone understands. But FIJAGH doesn't mean that you make promises and not follow up and nobody should expect your word to mean anything and that's totally okay because it's about fandom. Wtf lol

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 12:11 pm (UTC)(link)
This isn't really about people no longer participating because they're not having fun, though, is it? It's about people saying that they'll do something and then not following through, because it's "just a goddamn hobby." It's about people expecting others to do all the work to make something fun, and then getting surprised when those others feel burnt.

When we're doing anything that involves other people, we should extend them at least a modicum of consideration. Yes, fandom is just for fun, but the fact that something is for fun doesn't mean it justifies treating other participants disrespectfully.

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 02:13 am (UTC)(link)
Those people were very understanding and kind, as people ought to be in situations where someone had a genuine emergency and couldn't follow through with their plans. I'd give that a pass as well. What I object to is people who routinely over-commit because they're in semi-denial about their ability to show up and do what they said they'd do, and do this on a regular basis while expecting to be cut slack for what is a recurring pattern of rudeness because it's "just a hobby".

And yes, this has happened to me, on more than one occasion, with more than one person.

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 12:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah, this idea that if something is a hobby it means people can just be rude with impunity is...a profoundly antisocial position.

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
Gesundheit

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
In my exoerience people who get all passive aggressive and petty like this are usually the people that have poor communications and little to no boundaries. Its like they swing to the other extreme and cut off everything and get angry because people didn't read their minds.

BUT ANYWAY, good for you for dropping something that was clearly causing misery and stress.

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 12:07 am (UTC)(link)
I hate this idea that fandom is somehow less of a 'real' thing, or that promises made online are less of 'real' promises, or that people in fandom are somehow less of 'real' people, that hobbies IRL.

If you need 5 people for a sports team with a stated goal of trying to win, and 1 person keeps randomly not showing up and making you unable to play, everyone would agree that person's being an asshole. Play or quit. Stop leading people on. It's pretty clear-cut. But the 'IRL came up' fandom person who's never there for RP or gaming is given a pass all the time because 'IRL > fandom' instead of being told, as they should be, not to commit to things they can't do and making people wait around for them.

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
The only thing doing group projects in high school taught me is that group projects don't work.

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
Oh look, the reason why I stopped taking part in collaborations in fandom.

(Anonymous) 2024-03-12 06:01 am (UTC)(link)
I learned through work and fandom that there are few people who I can collab with and we work well together. Most people either talk a lot and sit around for the results to magically appear or they are simply someone whose ideas don't mesh well with mine.

In my experiences it tends to be people who talk a lot and seem excited at my enthusiasm....but there are never plans made or no one follows through with the plans.

I've learned to do the projects alone or state that the project is no more due to lack of interest/effort.
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