[ SECRET POST #939 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #939 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 17 pages, 403 secrets from Secret Submission Post #135.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 6 - too big ], [ 1 2 3 4 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 4 - doing it wrong ], [ 1 - "how the hell is this doing it wrong?" ], [ 1 2 - empty comment ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

117. http://i28.tinypic.com/2hnthdc.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

I can totally relate. Fandom stops me from spending time on what really matters. But I'm not sure I want to leave...

[(Anonymous)]

I relate to this secret so much I'm actually expecting my RL friend who reads F!S to assume this is me and try to talk to me about it.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Aw, I hope your friends think so! <3

[karate0kat.livejournal.com]

I had to see a therapist for anxiety issues earlier this year, and she actually thought my involvement in fandom and fanfiction writing was very therapeutic and a good thing. We all need stress relievers in our lives, it's just a fact. Nobody but you can decide what those are or need to be. If you don't feel fandom is healthy for you anymore, or you just don't want to do it, there's nothing wrong with moving on. But don't feel like you have to leave just to 'grow up'. Even grownups need play time.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

Fandom helped me more than my any of my medications, in a time that I really needed help. It's really therapeutic, but, truly, when it's not too much.

It's not my intention to leave fandom. I love it, but I'm trying to moderate. I was spending way too time with fandom related stuff, and I was leaving behind a really good time of my life to be online all the time.

But, anyway, I agree with you, and I'm trying my best to control myself. Thanks for your lovely reply, btw <3

[sic-semper-trex.livejournal.com]

Just don't completely give up on having stress relievers. We all need time to play around, it just sounds like you got too caught up in it.

OP

[(Anonymous)]

A few months ago, I tried to leave completely and I was a mess. I'm not doing it anymore. I will just try to moderate my fandom time ^_^

[lule-bell.livejournal.com]

I sympathize with you anon, but remember to do things that make you happy. All things in moderation. There are such things as healthy relationships with fandom which you can make for yourself. ^_^

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I totally agree with you. I'm just trying to moderate myself ^_^

(Random thing, I'm in love with you icon <3)

[mimes.livejournal.com]

That's why the goal is moderation. It's a relaxing hobby, everyone has one (hell, everyone needs one). You just have to make sure it stays a hobby, and not your life.

It's not good if you leave it all behind just like that, especially considering how much it means to you now. If you do that you're just going to relapse and I promise you'll be back in six months. Learn to enjoy it in smaller doses, you know?

OP

[(Anonymous)]

I already tried to leave completely, and it really didn't work. I was back even three months after.

And moderation really is my goal about what's happening to me. I love fandom, and It helped me many many times. I don't want to leave completely anymore. :3

[thene]

God, me too, not because I think it's all that matters or because it's an escape or because I need to grow up, but because it's too easy to let it distract me from more important things. No intention of leaving, though, just need more IRL-focus.

[(Anonymous)]

At least it's not harming anyone.

[rampant-chaos8.livejournal.com]

I don't see any reason for you to completely leave fandom if you enjoy it. Everyone has some form of escapism, whether they want to admit it or not :)

[rabbitucker.livejournal.com]

The Real World can be a complicated and scary place. However, there are two things to remember:

• The less time you spend in it, the more complicated and frightening it becomes.

• The more time you spend in it, the simpler and more comfortable it becomes.

Real life takes practice. You just have to jump in head-first.

[snowdevil-crow.livejournal.com]

This!

Also, hey, I was wondering, can I friend you?

[rabbitucker.livejournal.com]

Hey there, you!

Haven't seen you around much lately. Sure, you can "+friend" me if you like. I have no objections at all.

:^)

[snowdevil-crow.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was out of town for a bit and had rather limited internet access :)

Yaaaay!

[numbuh12.livejournal.com]

It may be more difficult for you, I don't know what your particular situation is, but I do believe that it's possible to find a balance between the two. I think I have, and I'm sure others have too. Don't try to go from one extreme to the other, try to change your lifestyle a little bit at a time. Don't be afraid, just keep thinking about what you want to achieve.

[weallfallout.livejournal.com]

With RL: you'll be okay. You just have to convince yourself that it's something you have to do. When I got a job and started college, I was seriously freaking out. But now, it feels just as normal as when I spent all day on the computer.

A good way to moderate, I've found, is to build a routine. When I wake up, I check certain sites in a certain order each time. I read a couple fanfic before bed. Friday is my least busy day, so I read manga/watch shows on that day. IDK if you had the same problem I did, but I realized I wasted most of my time wandering aimlessly through fandom than doing things I actually wanted to do.

[egalitarianmuse.livejournal.com]

I'm beginning to feel the same way. College is here and I'm keeping it together, doing what I need to, but I can't help but wonder if I'd be happier out there.

[missdeanna.livejournal.com]

All your comments make it sound like you have a pretty good handle on what you need to do, OP.

I've been on both ends of the equation. There was definitely a time when I felt very disconnected from real life, and avoided real life. Only, fandom wasn't my main source of escapism. But fandom and the shows/books I've enjoyed have also helped me deal with some of the issues I've had, and now that I'm so focused on work and school, it's really nice to have something to escape to when I need to unwind.

It's a matter of finding the right balance.