fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6291 ]

[ SECRET POST #6291 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6291 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Baldur's Gate 3]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 14 secrets from Secret Submission Post #899.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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I believe there are other women like you because I've seen them say things *exactly* like this. It's not new, it's something slash shippers (and bromance fans; I once saw a woman saying something very similar to this, but without the romance part because she was a homophobe) have been content saying for years. Decades, maybe. Can't relate at all, because I'm basically in the other end of the spectrum, but... beyond fandom, this level of insecurity about fictional women who *literally cannot compete with you in any way* is bizarre to me, I really can't wrap my mind around it. Perhaps this is not something you guys should be *content* with, just saying.

Yeah if this is a true opinion and not just rage-bait then OP really needs to do some inner thinking, because this kind of mindset is not healthy at all.

My closest, most cherised and supportive relationships, platonic or otherwise, have all been with women. The most beautiful friendships I've witnessed between other people were between women. Whenever I see a woman say that women don't form friendships, that women don't have those deep bonds and we all hate each other... I mostly feel pity, tbh. I couldn't imagine it. Especially because it really does seem that the source of it is seeing these other women as competition, presumably for men... and that + the way the overly idealise ~male bonds~ (from which they are excluded), means I can't imagine them having their emotional needs supported by the men in their life either.

AYRT.

Yeah it's a huge projection on their part and it says far more about this type of woman than they'd ever admit to. One of my closest and most meaningful relationships in my life is with my bbf who I've known for 10 years now, we have never once seen each other as competition or tried to drag each other down. We meme together and talk about anything and everything because we genuinely enjoy spending time together.

Thinking that women can't form 'meaningful' relationships with other women is some serious toxic misogyny bullshit I want no part of.

I once saw a post by a woman (the one worshipping bromances) about how she couldn't believe friendships between female characters because she can't find women irl who weren't jealous of her and her beauty and like... my mind immediately went to one of my friends, who is this incredibly gorgeous woman, who's also kind and charming and a joy to be around, and has countless female friends without this seemingly become an issue between them.

Literally everything else about this online woman made her seem like an incredibly unpleasant, self-involved, bigoted person, though. Somehow, I think that had more weight on her lack of friendships (with both men and women) than her looks.

Like, sometimes I wonder if I'm too removed from this because I'm a dyke as uninterested in men and their attention as one can be. But plenty of those friends of mine are heterosexual women themselves and they don't seem to have this issue, so again: as you say, this says more about these type of women than anything else.

And not saying friendships between women can't be filled with conflict but... again, I think they have a VERY idealised view of male friendships. VERY.

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There have been people in this very comm who've said that they view (or previously viewed) female characters as threats, silly though it may be.

It's nowhere near every woman or every slash fan, by any means, but that sort of person does demonstrably exist.

That is bonkers to me. My homophobic dad would always go, "Hahah, he's probably gay." to any celeb I expressed interest in. I finally was just like, "SO the fuck what? I will never meet Tom Hardy."

I see people get this way when celebs get married. Were you really hoping to shoot your shot with Jensen Ackles?

They exist, definitely, is why I wouldn't jump to call this secret trolling the way others have in this thread (could it be? Yes. It's not a worldview that anyone pulled out of their ass though. I've seen iiiiit). I find it very depressing ngl.

I've mentioned it too many times already in the past on this comm, but I had witnessed the full ridiculousness of this mindset back when I had started making fanworks for Uhura/T'Pring with both Star Trek AOS and TOS.
Uhura/T'Pring is pretty much a crackship entirely based on Uhura going "oh she [T'Pring] is beautiful" that a segment of the fandom on Tumblr pretty much ran with, making a bunch of fanworks and having the time of our lives.

Then some Spock/Kirk fans threw a tantrum about it - ranging between the fact that we took a character that was an 'evil bitch' and had the audacity to to her in any kind of Alternate Universe that did not affect their precious ship at all, to some trying to theorize that deep down we really wanted to ship Spock/Kirk but just a female version. It was overall really dumb and blew over within a year, but left a bitter taste in my mouth around the whole thing.

That's so bizarre! I've seen plenty of conflicts between ships (as I'm sure we all have), but in those cases, the ships always share a character. Why in the world would someone get mad about a ship that doesn't share any characters with their own?

(Not saying it makes sense to get mad about shipping in general. But at least when a ship is a clear "rival," it makes a certain sort of sense)

I will say - I wouldn't go so far as to use the word "threat" but I do get the insecurity to some degree. It's not about viewing the fictional characters as competition, it's that your mind can't help going to draw a comparison and say "Oh, I'm not like that, I don't have those attributes, I don't look like that, I would never be able to be in that situation", etc etc etc.

I think it depends on how much you characterize yourself into these fictional ppl in the first place.

I don't think I've looked into many characters female or otherwise and compared myself to them (as a competition??). Emphasized with their situations yes, but comparisons nope.

Empathised* can't English today

Yeah, that's the explanation I've seen, but my god. Doesn't that feel to them like an incredibly limiting way to look at fiction?? I recently saw someone use these arguments and bringing up they couldn't relate to a female character because she was beautiful, smart, well dressed, had a job in a male-dominated field... is that all?? The first two might be about genetic lottery, but the others are actually something many women are?? And pleeeeeeeeenty of male characters far outshine that list, all without men everywhere in the world deciding these makes them unworthy of their attention.

AYRT

For the record, I would say that this is something that I feel specifically with respect to shipping - which is a very, very narrow slice of how I relate to fiction overall.

Why... would you do that, though? They're fictional. They don't even exist. There's nothing to compare to because they're literally just a figment of someone's imagination, not an actual living, breathing person.

Nonnie, believe me, I have tried explaining many times to my brain that the things it does make no sense.

Female characters are often a reflection of what the writer expects women to be like. If you're not as awesome as the main girl, not able to keep up with the boys like she dies, then you're useless and making your gender look bad.

I would say they're more often a reflection of what the writer wishes they could be the same way male MCs written by male writers are likewise personal wish fulfillment.

I'm someone who called this a troll secret above but honestly... yeah I've seen women in fandom like this too and it's depressing as fuck. I've never understood the 'can't relate to them' point either because I don't relate to ANY character, I just like them if they tickle my fancy in some way. Needing to relate to a character to enjoy them would severely limit the kinds of characters I could like(and frankly in western media... barely exist, so what do I do then? Not enjoy anything ever?).

Yeah, I personally don't "relate" to characters in the ways these people seem to mean (seeing one and going "omg they're just like me!!!" sometimes but very few and far between. I'm an acquired taste). Earlier today I saw a post in tumblr that compared "relatable" with "resonant", characters who leap off the page and make you feel what they feel, regardless of how theorically removed it is from yourself. Those are the ones I tend to latch on.

And ofc, there are characters I like as *characters*, because they're fantastical constructs even if they don't make me feel warm and fuzzy or what the fuck ever. This concept of relatability is why some people will jump at you if you like a morally ambiguous characters istg lol.

I've always found it a strange requirement because I like fantasy-settings more as well and like, I'm not a wizard? So how could I possibly relate to a spell-caster to like them? I don't have magic, lol.

Resonant makes more sense and that I can understand, a character doesn't need to fit you they just need to speak to you in some way and that certainly happens to me with various kinds of characters.

Oh yeah I love me a bunch of evil-villains and my love of them has nothing to do with thinking they're good people or aspirational, but how much I enjoy their place in the narrative. You've got a point on that though, if people think that 'relating' to characters is how everyone enjoys them then it makes sense where the knee-jerk reaction to those who like villains comes from, huh.

There are a few characters I relate to in the "just like me!" way, but they may or may not be of the same sex and it's very random, and they're never 100% like me; they might display a similar sense of humor or be an orphan too or whatever.

I feel like fiction is supposed to be a window: you get to peer off into different worlds and different lives, and consider what it would be like to be part of them. A lot of people, however, want it to be a mirror instead, reflecting back themselves, and only themselves.

Yeah this is how I go into it: I'm getting to see different people and different worlds and that's fun! Some of my fave characters are absolutely nothing like me because I think they're fun or interesting.

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