[ SECRET POST #6337 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6337 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 33 secrets from Secret Submission Post #906.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Age Gap Question

[(Anonymous)]

IRL I mostly don't care once the younger party is at least twenty-five. Like, I'm not saying that a 55yo dating a 25yo doesn't have plenty of potential issues; I'm just saying that it's not my business and I don't really care enough to judge.

When the younger party is 20–25 and the older party is much older, I'm like, "Hmm, that's kinda iffy. There might be smoke with that fire. I hope there isn't. But it's still not my business."

When the younger party is 18/19 and the older party is much older, I'm like, "That's worrying. I really hope that kid has a support system in place. Still not my business, but I hope they're okay." If I knew someone who was 30+ and dating a legal-aged teenager, it would probably change how I saw them to some extent. I'm not saying they're automatically an abuser or a bad person, but there would be a red flag in my brain associated with them. It would be something I was mindful of if they were in the same social circle I was.

In FICTION on the other hand, I love me a problematic age gap. My OTP is between a character who is usually around 18 in fanfic and a character who is usually around 48 in fanfic and I am here for it. I'm not into underage fic, personally, but I don't care if other people are into that in fiction.

Re: Age Gap Question

[(Anonymous)]

You know, I wish there was more serious discussion of the way stuff that may seem shallow when you're inexperienced with relationships has a long term cumulative effect. More "these are specific potential drawbacks of dating someone much older" and more giving the people involved space to consider what applies and is likely to bother them. As opposed to onlookers assuming (which you're not) that they know everything they need to know about a relationship just because they compare two numbers and fall back on a lot of stereotypes and assumptions.

An older partner can certainly be underhanded with a teenager. But, as a teenager, I still helped friends sneak around behind the backs of their ultraconservative families and escape with the aid of older partners. Because when you have families espousing views like "I'd rather my son be dead than gay," and arranging for their daughters to marry straight out of high school because they think women are too weak-willed to avoid sinning without a husband laying down the law for them, there is no baseline of "this person's life would not be fucked up." You know? And as a society, we don't offer much in terms of where those teens are supposed to turn. I really think you'd have fewer people taking their chances with potentially-sketchy adults if there were better, safer ways to flee abusive relatives.