fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6344 ]

[ SECRET POST #6344 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6344 ⌋

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It definitely got it's start in 1950s americana. Starter homes were cheap and you could learn all the things you needed to know about running a house so that when you had advanced enough in your careers to afford it you were already on the property ladder, leading to an easier time getting the bigger house to go with the kids. This was back when middle class meant the salary for a large house, two cars, vacations every year, etc etc etc.

You don't need the kids for any of it. It also doesn't have to be heteronormative; we're both wives. We bought ours as training wheels for house ownership. It's small and doesn't take much upkeep, so we could afford to make some mistakes on it as we learned. Except the promises of our childhood turned out to be lies, and now we're stuck here. At least we aren't renting.

Not only is housing more expensive than inflation, but wage growth is less than inflation. So now the choices are renting forever, buying the starter house as a forever house, or inheriting.

I think when I said heteronormative, I was thinking of the original intention, because in the 1950s they definitely were not thinking about queer people being included, but you're right. Nowadays, heteronormative isn't really the right word. More just old-fashioned/tradtional, I guess.

Anyway, I guess I don't really understand the necessity, if there aren't kids involved? If two people buy a house that works for them, if they don't have kids, then what is going to change to the point where they need a bigger house?

I absolutely am not ever having kids and am probably like 90% percent likely to not get married (and I have joked that if I do, they have to have their own place because I need my space and do not want to share it with anyone), so the idea of buying a house for just myself makes no sense. Honestly, a one bedroom apartment is too big, even, with a lot of space I don't use or need. The whole cultural idea that people need huge houses as a status symbol is just fucking stupid to me.

And the whole "training wheels" and learning thing you mentioned also doesn't make much sense to me. Up to a certain point, I can't imagine there is that much difference between upkeep of a small house and a larger house when it comes to cutting the grass or installing new appliances or whatever. And when you get to that certain point, I imagine someone would have enough money to pay people to do that stuff, so I don't really understand.

Also, yeah, the whole 50s thing with the "American Dream" with the nuclear family and white picket fence where they have a big house and the husband has a high-paying job and the wife stays home with the kids just does not exist anymore. Unless you're a CEO, people just do not get constant raises to where it makes any sense to keep buying bigger and bigger houses.

At least we aren't renting.

I guess. I would much rather rent; just knowing what my parents have gone through with it, owning a house sounds like a total nightmare that I want no part of.

then what is going to change to the point where they need a bigger house?

For us, hobbies mostly. My wife is into sewing, but we don't really have the room she needs. We're both gamers, and it would be nice to have more space for both of us. It was fine when we were younger since we were out of the house more often, but now not so much.

Honestly, a one bedroom apartment is too big, even, with a lot of space I don't use or need.

Everyone is different. We definitely need another room or three.

The whole cultural idea that people need huge houses as a status symbol is just fucking stupid to me.

???? I... don't care what other people think. I just want more room.

I can't imagine there is that much difference between upkeep of a small house and a larger house when it comes to cutting the grass or installing new appliances or whatever

It's muuuuuch more expensive and time consuming when it comes to upkeep of flooring, roofing, the walls, environmental systems, lawn care, cleaning and of course taxes.

I would much rather rent; just knowing what my parents have gone through with it, owning a house sounds like a total nightmare that I want no part of.

Sounds rough. My parents have owned several houses without a problem, and we've had a fine experience owning our own. I just wish it was bigger. I want room for a bathtub that will actually fit me. 😭

For us, hobbies mostly. My wife is into sewing, but we don't really have the room she needs. We're both gamers, and it would be nice to have more space for both of us. It was fine when we were younger since we were out of the house more often, but now not so much.

That makes sense. My main hobbies are reading and hiking. I read ebooks, and my hiking gear takes up relatively little space, so I didn't really think about that.

???? I... don't care what other people think. I just want more room.

Sorry, that part wasn't directed at you specifically. It's definitely a thing with people I know. My brother, for example, bought a house that was plenty of room for himself and his at the time girlfriend. They broke up, and pretty soon after he met his now wife and bought a slightly bigger house with her. After getting married and adopting two kids, they bought a bigger house, which makes sense since they needed more room for the kids. Not too long after, they sold it and got a bigger house than that, even though nothing changed and they didn't technically need a bigger house, just felt that they "should" have one to show that they were successful. Awhile after that, they sold it and bought an even bigger house, which they still live in now, even though, again, nothing changed to where they actually needed a bigger house, it was just for status. The house they live in now is a literal mansion and he's in a crazy amount of debt because nothing changed with his job and they can't actually afford it, but he felt the need to keep buying bigger and bigger houses to project a certain image. A lot of people I know have similar stories.

It's muuuuuch more expensive and time consuming when it comes to upkeep of flooring, roofing, the walls, environmental systems, lawn care, cleaning and of course taxes.

I guess. I think you're talking about a bigger jump in sizes than I was picturing originally.

Sounds rough. My parents have owned several houses without a problem, and we've had a fine experience owning our own.

It's not even anything unusual, I guess my idea of a problem is just different. I just mean that over time, things are eventually going to break/die/need to be replaced. To me, that's more hassle than I want to deal with. It's much easier to be able to pick up the phone and make one call, knowing that it will be taken care of and that none of the logistical decisions are going to fall on me. The only upside to buying a house is eventually having no monthly payments once it's paid off, but the way jobs/salaries are nowadays (at least in my field, although I feel like it's at least somewhat of an issue overall), that would never happen with me, so financially, there's really no difference between buying or renting, and at least with renting I don't have to worry about fixing things that break/lawn care/etc.

I guess it's just that I am not a "domestic" type of person at all and see "homemaker" type stuff as a waste of time (I have no interest in gardening/plants/flowers, I don't care about decorating, I don't want to host parties or anything, etc.). I just want a roof over my head with the absolute most minimal possible amount of hassle.

I know I am really weird in all of this, though.

To each their own! And everyone has their experiences. We had absolutely AWFUL experience renting. Our appliances were crap and broken a lot and it would take forever to get management to fix or replace them. We love being able to just do it ourselves and get what we want.

I get that! I've been lucky in that anytime something has broken, I've been able to make a call and have it fixed usually within the same day (or within a couple days if it was something a bit more complicated or that required ordering a part or something like that). But if someone had a bad landlord or management company, I can totally see how they would hate renting!

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[ SECRET POST #6344 ]

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