That's rough, anon. It sounds like the "little things" are bad enough, from what you're saying. I'm not dealing with a ton of trauma or a bad childhood, per se. I believe my parents love me, but... like you said, they don't know me very well. They've got this picture of who I am in their heads formed from my childhood, and they're not able to change that picture even though I'm an adult. It's weird, because they only seem to remember the mistakes I made, but never seem to recall or recognize my accomplishments. One of their favorite things to do is to recall some embarrassing incident from my childhood when I did something foolish or silly because I didn't know any better and nobody told me. That's hilarious to them, and they'll tell that story over and over and over, chuckling every single time. I've never let them know how crappy and hurtful I find it when they do that, and I think it's because I know they won't take me seriously, and they definitely won't stop. My embarrassment and hurt will just make it funnier to them.

Which kind of makes them sound like psychos, but they're not. They're just... sort of casually cruel without realizing it. They don't think such a story is humiliating, so why would I feel that way? That's their approach to everything. Whatever they think and feel about something is the right way, everyone else must either agree and think the same way or they're wrong and should correct themselves.