fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6442 ]

[ SECRET POST #6442 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6442 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 36 secrets from Secret Submission Post #921.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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05. https://i.imgur.com/JkvXhPg.jpeg

It feels like you're conflating two things that have little to no relevance to each other. Just move on and stop worrying about one proshipper calling you an anti if you're so tired of them.

Damn the whole proshipper/anti thing sounds exhausting. I don't know how anyone has that kind of energy to care so much about what strangers on the internet are thinking.

It is! As someone who doesn't live in fandom spaces, I once had someone telling me that by staying neutral, I am no better than those who send hate to others. I did not say that I would not call out bully behaviour, just stated that I have no plans on getting involved in that part of fandom by joining any of the groups.

(Note, my country had repeatedly abused censorshiplaws to destroy anything related to queer media. Being suggested that after all the shit I had to endure irl I might be pro-censorship was an experience.)

>I once had someone telling me that by staying neutral, I am no better than those who send hate to others.

I consider myself neutral and am okay with moderates on both sides (ex. "I don't like X but it shouldn't be censored"), but people say that makes me an icky proshipper by proxy. So be it.

DA

Well, yeah. That's the basic "proship" stance. You don't have to like everything, just ignore it and get on with your day and don't harass people over it. That's it.

(no subject)

erinptah - 2024-08-25 23:17 (UTC) - Expand

People really do love to abuse that Nelson Mandela quote, huh?

+2

I don't get involved in either end of it because I have better things to do with my time. If I see someone being an ass I'll call them on it but I don't go looking for fights online, it's just a waste of energy. I'll happily chat with like-minded fans and block the ones who are perpetually angry on either end, it works wonders.

I don't have the energy to care and would like not to, but antis will come for you just for you doing you, whether you want to care or not. It's not something you can tune out unless you're really lucky in what fandoms you're in or choose them specifically on their reputation for being anti-free.

You don't just block them?

Nah, you just block them and don't give them the reaction they crave (this doesn't work well in real life but it sure does online). There's very few people they seriously go after (mostly artists) and those people I feel sorry for, but 99% of it is basic stupid high school mean girl stuff.

Look at it from the pro-shipper's point of view. You can only get called a pedo by strangers on the internet so many times before you start to take it personally. Not to mention, antis actively track people down, dox them, and get people arrested or fired from jobs. You better find the energy to take the discourse seriously at that point.

I like how you people just say things, who has gotten arrested or fired from their job over shipping stuff on the internet?

I don't pay much attention to this, so I have no evidence of antis succeeding at this, but several have made it clear that it's their desired outcome. Or, y'know, one of them. Can't ignore "AO3 starts censoring everything for some reason even though it was built for the purpose of not censoring things".

Re: DA

(Anonymous) - 2024-08-26 14:17 (UTC) - Expand

Re: DA

(Anonymous) - 2024-08-26 15:36 (UTC) - Expand

AYRT

(Anonymous) - 2024-08-26 05:09 (UTC) - Expand

Re: AYRT

(Anonymous) - 2024-08-26 14:19 (UTC) - Expand

Re: AYRT

(Anonymous) - 2024-08-26 17:10 (UTC) - Expand

Judging from how this comment thread s going, I think I'll stick to not getting involved with people too into thought-policing. It's worked great for me for the past 20-ish years and I rather have fun with fandom than get too invested in niche internet drama.

You keep using these words. I don't think they mean what you think they mean.

I, personally, can't imagine being friends with someone who sends other people hate for just existing, but I also can't imagine being friends with someone who treats me rudely all the time for no reason lol. Sounds like you need new friends!

This!x2 + If OP's friend went as far to check who they are interacting with and tries to control them, that's a pretty red flag in my book.

Honestly, if you have tried to communicate your problem, but they refuse to listen and act rudely it is time to step away and find better friends. A friendship should be like a garden both of you tend, but it seems you are the one watering the plants here.

I don't like antis but the way your friend is (if I'm reading this correctly) policing your casual interactions on a public website, I don't like that either. I'm sorry that had to happen.

Proshippers by definition don't have a problem with how other people do fandom. Your friend isn't a proshipper, they're just someone who likes ships that antis don't like.

Annoying thing about definitions is that they're not like, carved into the quantum foam of reality. Words only mean things because people use them that way, and a lot of people would dispute this definition because it's not how they use it.

Obvious example, OP's friend.

... On second thought, OP's friend probably does define "proshipper" the same as you, and where they disagree is on the definition of "don't have a problem with how other people do fandom". ("Of course I don't have a problem with how other people do fandom, that's why I'm attacking everyone who does have a problem!") This is, if anything, an even more annoying thing about definitions.

Sounds like they took an anti's "harassment and policing is good, actually" mindset and just swapped the target. This is ironic because it violates the core principle of what proshipping is supposed to be, "no, harassment and policing is bad, actually". Many such cases.

I think OP has a run in with a proshipper who is so deep in the whole thought process that they accidentaly started turning into what they hate most just under a different label. "Policing is bad, until I see my friend talk to people I do not like." If these people are strangers the friend has no prior experience with, that is just middle school behaviour.

Reading the secret, I can't blame OP for seeking out people just to have casual conversations if the friend makes them feel miserable.

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