[ SECRET POST #6455 ]

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⌈ Secret Post #6455 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 48 secrets from Secret Submission Post #923.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: What do you consider a red flag in real life?

[(Anonymous)]

Er... "consult their kids for feedback"? You don't think most parents would know what a quality education looks like, but you think the kids would? Which kids, the ones attending the potential school, or their own kids? Would either group be a competent judge of whether or not a school had a good academic program? That doesn't really make a lot of sense.

My parents are immigrants. A good education is/was one of their top priorities in choosing a home, more so than proximity to work or other criteria. There are cultural reasons for this (because in the old country, if you did not receive a good education, that would determine the course of the rest of your life), but it's also common sense, IMO. If I had kids, I would also prioritize a good school district, and it boggles me that anyone would consider that suspect in any way.

It's possible the people you know don't know what factors to consider in school districts, and it's possible they're using "good schools" as a code word for something else, but I don't think that's necessarily a universal assumption you can make.

Re: What do you consider a red flag in real life?

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Yes, I did say consult their kids for feedback. After all, the kid is the one attending the school. I actually got to have a say in where I went to school starting when I was about nine. I was actually attending an elementary school outside of my assigned zone due to being in special ed. When I managed to get to a point where the district felt I no longer needed to be in special ed, my family faced a choice. Either I stayed at my current school and file paperwork with the district allowing me to stay or transfer to the school I was zoned to attend. My parents asked for my thoughts, and I wasn't keen on leaving the school I'd come to know over the years. In the end, I was able to stay at my elementary school until it was time to move onto middle school (where I went to where I was zoned). Likewise, when it was time for high school, there were only two high schools in the district at the time. This meant that kids could choose where they went. My parents left this up to me. I decided to go to the high school way out in the boonies because that's where the IB program was offered in the district (and yes, that was my choice as well). When kids are engaged with school and have displayed initiative in setting education goals, they should have the chance to chime in on this choice.

My dad immigrated to the US in the 60s, but his dad's job required multiple moves. Thus, education ended up not being a priority for him. I think that stating immigrant status automatically equals prioritizing education is likely a relic of the past (and may not even be all that accurate). It also suggests that immigrants may be more vulnerable to the language used to encourage white flight (as shown in the Apartment Therapy link). These days, I think the immigrant stance on education has shifted thanks to charter schools (and pitches by parochial schools, which is another minefield altogether). Because of this shift in attitudes, I do think that the use of the phrase "good schools" is more frequently being used as a dog whistle, and its use is spreading to populations most vulnerable to losing tough with their cultural heritage.

Re: What do you consider a red flag in real life?

[(Anonymous)]

You should always check with your kids to see if they doing well at school. My school grades were a fucking mess. Because, despite going to a school which was on paper a very good one, I was bullied relentlessly by peers and ignored by teachers. I was completely checked out long before I was able to leave. I begged to go to a nearby school which, on paper, was slightly less good, but had a school culture much more in line with my personality and where I could have had a fresh start.

However the authority figures in my life were very much of the do as you're told, and, children should be seen but not heard, school of childrearing. It made my life a thousand times harder than it could otherwise have been. So, yes, listen to your kids. They will know more about the day-to-day life of the school and how well it fits them than the stats and figures will ever be able to show.