[ SECRET POST #6509 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6509 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 06 secrets from Secret Submission Post #930.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Venting thread- I've been struggling not to hate my husband.

[(Anonymous)]

Why do you wish you'd gone through with a divorce if counseling helped and you're better now? I genuinely don't understand, unless you think you had some kind of feminist duty to become happy through divorcing instead of through your husband getting better.

Re: Venting thread- I've been struggling not to hate my husband.

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT
Because part of making things work means compromise. Because I miss living alone. Because shit still happens even in a happy marriage and single life isn’t nearly as complicated. Because sometimes I’m just tired mentally, physically, emotionally and I don’t want to have to talk about or listen to anything but in a family things come up that can’t wait for a time when I’m feeling up to it.

Re: Venting thread- I've been struggling not to hate my husband.

[(Anonymous)]

Your second sentence makes you sound trollish, but I'm going to assume you're just very lucky and have never had or witnessed serious relationship issues. I haven't gone through counseling OR divorce, but I can guess ayrt's situation.

Sometimes even when you "win", the cost you had to pay was so high that it taints your "victory". I would not be able to look the same on a man who claims to love me more than anything, but who failed to treat me like a human being with feelings and needs UNTIL we paid a lot of money for him to be shamed repeatedly by a neutral third party. Even if my husband got his act together, apologized and improved, that doesn't erase the YEARS of suffering and misery that he was content to knowingly visit upon me simply because he didn't want to be bothered re: being a considerate partner.

All of that doesn't vanish just because things start getting better. Especially if you were the one who had to repeatedly force and insist and pressure the other person to get counseling and do the necessary marriage work because they were determined to leave you holding the bag.