[ SECRET POST #6509 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6509 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 06 secrets from Secret Submission Post #930.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Venting thread- I've been struggling not to hate my husband.

[(Anonymous)]

And health, too. Don't underestimate health. I lost mine in the course of decades of walking on eggshells, of being less than. I've never got it back.

But you are the architect of your future, anon. No-one else. You have to decide what you want for your future.

Re: Venting thread- I've been struggling not to hate my husband.

[(Anonymous)]

This is true. I know my health is worse now that it was years ago, both physical and mental. Dealing with him is draining. I've only recently began clawing back some time and space for myself, but that, too, is a struggle. My husband went through a very long period (years) where he was in a bad place and wanted me to be at his beck and call to make him feel better. He didn't like when I wanted to go off and do anything without him and would get super needy and invent reasons to interrupt me and demand my presence, such as acting like he can't find things, can't feed himself the lunch that's already packed for him, stuff like that. He refused to do anything without me, either. I encouraged him to do things that he enjoyed, on his own, that would've helped with his mental and physical health. If I didn't have the time or energy (because I was doing all the housework with no help) to accompany him, then he refused to go and would just hover around me while I cooked, cleaned, whatever. Like sometimes I'd be moving laundry from the washer to the dryer and BAM I'd run right into him because he's squeezed behind me in our small laundry room, doing nothing but hovering. I'd ask him to move, or better yet, to leave the room because it's not big enough for two people and laundry baskets and he'd get all hurt because I was rejecting him and he just wanted to be close to me because he loooooooooved me sooooooooo much...

It was awful, like dealing with a 6 ft clingy toddler. I spent all my time trying to make him feel loved and not-rejected, but nothing was ever good enough. I will not do that again. We had numerous fights over this over the years, and he now admits that was wrong of him (to demand all my time and attention and guilt trip me when I didn't want to be his human security blanket) but honestly? He has a hard time grasping that he's not entitled to me and my time 24/7 simply because he feels lonely or sad. His sad feelings mean I should drop everything and cater to him until he feels not-sad.

But he never does that for my sad, hurt feelings.