[ SECRET POST #6603 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6603 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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[Death in Paradise]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 30 secrets from Secret Submission Post #944.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

02. https://i.postimg.cc/FFpHXTYb/fsslash.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

I think there's a solution to this that doesn't require expecting people to check your profile or catch up on your real life: instead of going "I never ship any M/M" say "no, I mostly/only ship F/F."

Problem solved?

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP but this actually just happened to me the other day. I was talking on discord about books and off-handedly said 'I didn't read that book because I don't ship m/m'. Then I realized how that could sound and went back and edited my comment to say 'I didn't read that book because I only read f/f'. I do want to change my language towards emphasizing the positive (I do/like this) over the negative (I don't do/don't like this). It's sometimes hard, but yes, I do agree with you that this would be at least part of the solution.

(for the record, I have never been called homophobic, I only jumped into this because this literally just happened)

[(Anonymous)]

I see what you mean, but I personally think people should just not assume regardless if someone shared what they prefer to read or not. Just the phrase "I don't ship m/m" should not make you think someone is homophobic, it should make you think "They don't ship m/m" and that's it.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, and just like "I don't ship f/f" shouldn't make people wonder if the poster has internalized misogyny, and yet it's an accusation you also see a lot.

If the problem is people getting it wrong, then might as well dispel doubt immediately, save yourself the trouble.

[(Anonymous)]

Not all M/M is men fucking. I see your point, but I think the blanket statement might be the issue.

[(Anonymous)]

Why would anyone expect a lesbian to be interested in the non-sexual aspects of a m/m relationship either?

[(Anonymous)]

As a fellow lesbian I've hated the weird insistence that what you ship says much of anything about you, bar patterns of interest, because I've met plenty of homophobic as shit m/m shippers in my time to know that liking m/m does not make you a champion of queer rights in of itself and people that loudly insist that to be true I skirt the hell away from.

We like what we like, I have a few m/m ships because I like the dynamics(and for me shipping is about ~vibes not looks), but I'm mostly into f/f because I'm gay as shit and just like women kissing. It's that deep, and that's as deep as it should be taken.

[erinptah]

"liking m/m does not make you a champion of queer rights in of itself"

So much this.

Fandom needs to stop reaching for social-justice excuses to claim "liking my ship is a necessary act of progressive activism."

[(Anonymous)]

Works the other way around too, though. The amount of homophobic AND misgynistic vitriol I've seen some femslashers spout whenever an m/m ship is getting equally as or more popular in a fandom than their femslash one... (looking at you, Dungeon Meshi fandom). So yeah, in general, people who treat their shipping preferences (or trans/gender/neurodivergence/race etc. headcanons) as some sort of moral high ground/activism are annoying.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know who you are.

[(Anonymous)]

Let's be real, it's very likely that people may have called you homophobic not for simply not shipping an m/m ship but rather because you kept loudly whining and moaning about the prevalence of m/m ships in an m/m ship heavy fandom or in the relevant shipping tags. At least that's my common observation about situations like this. It's barely ever passive non-shipping that leads to accusations like that.

(And let's not even get into how "I'm a lesbian/ship femslash so I can't be homophobic" is a bit like "I can't be racist because I have black friends".)

[paperghost]

I think you're projecting a bit and seeing things this secret didn't say.

[(Anonymous)]

Not liking M/M is not homophobic: totally valid point, this is a stupid accusation for people to make.

Expecting everyone to check your blog before responding to a comment or something: ??? Does anyone anywhere ever do this? Do you check every person who says they only like M/M to see if they're gay men IRL with blogs full of beefcake before assuming they are the standard female slash fic writer?

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, they could be talking about people they know have visited their blog (because they've sent them an ask or something), and yet are still confused.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think someone being a lesbian would mean they wouldn't be into M/M ships. It could, if, like for you, attraction played a major part in their shipping process (which is totally fair), but I don't think people could just deduce from you being a lesbian that you'd never be into M/M ships. A lot of lesbians are in the Destiel fandom, for instance. And, as a greyaroace, I'm still a big shipper, despite not being attracted to any of the characters I ship together (M/M,M/F,F/F,and poly). I respect your choice and, if you're not leaving anything out of this secret, your annoyance towards those fans, even I'm disagreeing with you on that last idea that a lesbian couldn't be into M/M ships.

[(Anonymous)]

Wholeheartedly disagreeing as well.

I know multiple lesbians who pretty exclusively ship M/M. I'm aroace and ship loads of different things.

[(Anonymous)]

SA: I didn't finish my sentence, sorry. I wanted to write that your annoyance towards those fans was understandable.

[(Anonymous)]

I refuse to believe that anyone is calling you homophobic simply for not shipping M/M pairings.

If you're getting called this, it's because you're being an asshole about it. I don't ship many femslash pairings and guess what? Nobody has called me a homophobe because I don't go around going UGH GOD I HATE FEMSLASH, UGH, TCH, I WISH PEOPLE WOULD STOP EXPECTING ME TO SHIP IT, TCH.

How you act is how people perceive you.

Also, nobody cares about your personal life, OP. Do you expect everyone to do a background check on you to figure out why you prefer femslash? Get a grip.

[(Anonymous)]

Hmm. According to a couple of anons above, this is very surprising. You should have people scolding you all the time for not shipping F/F.

[(Anonymous)]

NGL, I'm a little put off by the comments to this that are like, "you must have done something to deserve this."

And that's not even uncommon, right? Happens all the time in real life. Someone gets mistreated, and there's a whole chorus of folks going, "well, what did you do to provoke it?"

What I think is that everybody deep down thinks that it's okay to be an asshole, if you can find some reason to justify it. Some people are chomping at the bit for their chance to have a go. There is no "bad behavior." As they say, no bad tactics, only bad targets.

Everything is permitted. But when you do it, it's okay, because you're the Good Guy, right?

[(Anonymous)]

I think it much more likely that OP was expressing not that they ship only F/F but that they don't want to touch M/M with a ten foot pole. And when they get pushback for saying that M/M is gross they pull the gay card and whitewash the whole conversation when complaining to other people. Could people have gone too far and called OP a homophobe? Absolutely, but people don't tend to bring that out when someone says "no thanks, they only ship F/F"....

[(Anonymous)]

I think the comments on this are being too nice. I flat out believe you're making this up completely.

1. It's not the done thing to call someone homophobic for not shipping m/m. No excuse is needed. Short of if they actually say it's because they hate the gays, everyone accepts that some people just don't like m/m. Accusing them of homophobia is most likely to just get the m/m shipper accused back of being a misogynist straight girl who fetishizes gay men.

2. f/f and m/f (but especially f/f exclusive) shippers frequently CLAIM that they're persecuted for not shipping m/m and have developed a hatred for m/m shippers that I believe is your reason for inventing this story.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know if there is anything besides not shipping m/m, but it could absolutely be all there is. I mean, fans have called Jeff Davis (a gay man, creator of Teen Wolf) homophobic for not putting Stiles and Derek together. Given that, over the course of the show, there were several gay supporting characters (Danny, Ethan, later Jackson), sometimes in a relationship together, this was a weird assertion. The writers of 9-1-1, a show created by Ryan Murphy (a gay man), were called homophobic (before Buck/Tommy) because they didn't write Buck and Eddie together, even though the show has a married lesbian (Hen) as part of the main cast with her wife (Karen) as a supporting character and a gay man (Josh) as a supporting character. So, yes, I can believe that someone would call someone else homophobic because they didn't ship m/m. Some fans are really weird about this.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think those are comparable, tbh. OP is not famous nor the creator of a famous show. How would any fans know or even suspect that OP, random anonymous internet fan #14599485798457, does not ship any M/M! and has zero interest! and doesn't want to talk about it at all! unless OP is out there telling people so?

The likelihood of more than several random unconnected people, enough so that OP's annoyed about it, being all up in OP's DMs calling them homophobic for not shipping something when OP has said nothing but an innocuous "I don't ship Tom/Jerry" feels extraordinarily low. The likelihood shoots up if OP is posting things like "I have zero interest in any M/M whatsoever" with no context, and even more likely if it's "M/M has taken over my fandom." Does any of that make OP homophobic? No! But it makes it way more likely that people are interpreting it incorrectly and responding without checking OP's blog because lbr nobody does that before responding to a comment.

And if this is a rant against broad "if you don't ship Tom/Jerry ur homophobic!" posts, how would any of those shotgun posters check OP's personal blog to see if this random person they haven't addressed individually and doesn't know exists, is a lesbian?

I'm not saying it's definitely one or the other but I see why people think one is far more likely to be true.