fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6612 ]

[ SECRET POST #6612 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6612 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Yellowjackets]

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[Farscape]

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I'm ace so I don't seek them out (also aro so I don't usually read romance), but if they happen to be in a book I'm reading, it doesn't bother me, they mostly just kind of bore me. But I have a friend (not ace) who reads basically exclusively romance and gets soooo offended and scandalized when there's sex in books. Which is kind of funny because she's kind of judgey about people who aren't having enough or "exciting" enough (in her opinion) sex, but anyway.

She reads the super popular, mainstream stuff that's popular on social media that you can find at pretty much any bookstore, so I can't imagine it's too wild but she acts like the scenes in these books are the most hardcore porn imaginable. I'm not at all interested in those kinds of books but I'm tempted to flip through them sometime to see if the sex is as crazy as she's making it out to be. (She's also not a fandom person, so maybe she finds it shocking since she's not desensitized from reading all the kinky stuff in fanfic or something, idk.)

Anyway, how do you guys feel about sex in books? Have you ever been shocked by the sex scenes in books you've read?

I'm ace so they also just kind of bore me. Also, why would someone read exclusively romance books and get mad about sex? I understand romance isn't exclusively about sex but...

Edited 2025-02-12 00:02 (UTC)

depends how well written they are. Some writers do sex scenes very well, others are terrible at them.

No problem with sex scenes myself. Sometimes they fit the story. I've definitely read scenes that surprised me though!

I'm ace and I like 'em.

I started reading awful romances around 8th grade and I was absolutely shocked at what was in some of these books. Judith Krantz, Nora Roberts, Kathleen E Woodiwiss, Jude Deveraux, and so many others I don't remember and they absolutely shocked my little innocent ace brain. I loved it.

I used to enjoy them, but now they just bore me. I don't think I've ever been shocked by a sex scene in a book. Most sex in fanfic is fairly predictable, even more so in mainstream fiction.

It depends entirely on the book for me.

A book with a good story will have sex-scenes that fit well into the narrative and work to add more to the characters, relationships or story in general so I'm all for that.

But a book with a bad story will use sex scenes to distract from the fact that there is no story or plot going on at all, and in that case it's less the sex scenes themselves I find annoying but more the use of them to try and distract from the bad story.

I don't mind them but do get bothered by it if it's badly written in an unfun way or just happens for the sake of it instead of a reason (like an established relationship or just a fling that makes everything messy - instead of either Compulsory Heterosexuality says so or happens out of now where and making the rest of the story feel off).

This is timely, as I'm arguing with an anti who thinks that teenagers can read whatever books they want, but shouldn't be reading fanfiction because fanfiction is only ever self indulgent porn. And I'm just like, let me introduce you to the Romance genre.

I read my first and only romance book in high school: my friend was planning on having sex for the first time with her boyfriend and wanted to do research first but she was too embarrassed to buy a sex manual. I wanted to see what all the fuss about romance novels was, but was too embarrassed to buy one (and had no problem buying a sex manual). So we each bought each other's books and traded. I got so bored so quickly cause it was just one sex scene after another. I learned in college that I was ace. XD

Man, not even just the romance genre. A lot of regular 20th century lit, including works now considered classic, has explicit sex in it.

That anti ain't well-read.

Their argument about that is that fanfiction is wall to wall sex and the sex is the only point, whereas published novels have a tasteful one or two sex scenes in 1000 pages (yes, they said 1000 pages).

So, yeah, this anti ain't well-read. Honestly, no anti is well read or they wouldn't be an anti.

This cracks me up because I young teen experience was discovering Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty books at my local library while mainly reading hurt/comfort and angst fics on ffnet.

I just looked it up and there's a wait-list at my library for 120 Days of Sodom.

ngl that's an awesome title for a book.

It's about four rich Frenchmen who seclude themselves in a remote castle with 20 victims (including children)-(and some servants) and try out every depraved sexual act they can think of.

Sex scenes in books exist and can be well or badly written just like anything else in books.

Your friend is virtue signaling hard.

I'm ace and they're just boring. I'd prefer a fade to black but if they happen I just skip pages until they're over.

I'm perfectly fine with sex scenes, and tend to enjoy them more often than not.

But! When I read a sex scene in a really good book, or see a sex scene in a really good movie, I do tend to have a bit of a strange reaction, in that I think, "would it be weird for me to recommend this to someone? Will they think it's weird that I encouraged them to read/watch sex?" I have a Movie Friend that I go to the theater with, and we've seen a couple of films with explicit scenes in them, and even though I know she doesn't give a shit, I've still anxiously thought, "how weird that we're watching this together!"

I suspect it's because, despite our culture's hypersexualization, I still have the sense that sex is meant to be personal and private, and that it's usually inappropriate and boundary-busting to bring it up in most social settings. This leads to an uneasiness about consuming media that contains sex, since there's often a social component to media consumption (even if that component is just saying, "I read a great book last week").

All of this is to say that I wonder if your friend is experiencing something similar to me, but in a more intense way. Maybe sex scenes in books feel as if they're not private enough, or as if, should someone read the same book, and know that she also read it, they might make assumptions and judge her in the way that she usually judges others.

I mostly read SF&F and horror... So, this really applies to those...

Frequently awkward. How often PiV is referred to as 'impalement' bothers me a LOT. Horror is generally better about that one. Probably because actually impalement during sex is far more likely, so confusion could happen.

Just like real porn or sex scenes in film/television, it's dependent on the execution.

I'm aroace but I do like consuming smut.

Sex is a part of life. I do think there are times sex scenes are there just for attention and/or shock value, but overall I don't think it's a big deal.

Sex is a part of life

Not for everyone, which you should get if you're aroace?

AYRT

Did I say sex is a part of everyone's life? I said sex is a part of life, because it is. Majority of us exist because our parents had sex.

I've never had sexual intercourse with anyone but I have masturbated, have been curious about sex, and I know that society in general is interested in sex (hence the studies in sex, depictions of sex in a lot of media).

Are you interpreting my usage of "sex" as sexual intercourse between two or more people? Because (and I'm confused as to why I have to clarify) what I meant is the topic of sex itself. Because I thought a lot about sex throughout my life, and it wasn't until I heard from other Aces' experiences and feelings on their relationship to sex did I begin to realize there is a label for what I feel.

I understand some people in general do not want to talk about sex or consume anything relating to sex, but it doesn't mean they aren't a part of a world in which sex exists.

I've always enjoyed sex scenes in books and enjoyed scandalizing myself at age 8 with Clan of the Cave Bear.

I'm not ace and a slutty slut, though! I write shitloads of erotic fic.

As far as I can tell from this comm (and come to think of it, my real life experience), ace people love reading and writing sex scenes. I think they might enjoy smut more than sexual people.

As something that tends to interrupt the plot.

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[ SECRET POST #6612 ]

How do you feel about sex scenes in books?

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