I feel you OP and I get what you mean. I'm bi too and I'm not against masculine men, at least looks-wise, but I cannot stand the kind of male lead in these m/f books because so many of them are this dommy alpha-male archetype that I just cannot stand, even if they get less of an asshole I just don't care from the offset so I can't get into the romance. It's absolutely not a 'all women love this' because no, I don't.

Buff masc dude who's gentle and loves his woman? Sign me the fuck up.

Buff masc dude who treats his woman like a sex-doll? No thanks I'll pass.

And It's a shame because I think I'd probably enjoy some of the romantasy stuff because I do enjoy romance stories but I just cannot click with the romances or male leads at all.