Sex in fiction isn't realistic no matter what gender permutation you've got going on. Hell I know queer guys who like to read and write 'unrealistic' m/m sex because they want the fantasy of not having to do the effort to actually do anal, much in the same way women will write physically satisfying PiV because maybe it's not the best for them but they want to imagine a story where it is.
Neither of these things are wrong, but we've gotten to a weird point where people are trying to treat fiction as a how-to manual.
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Sex in fiction isn't realistic no matter what gender permutation you've got going on. Hell I know queer guys who like to read and write 'unrealistic' m/m sex because they want the fantasy of not having to do the effort to actually do anal, much in the same way women will write physically satisfying PiV because maybe it's not the best for them but they want to imagine a story where it is.
Neither of these things are wrong, but we've gotten to a weird point where people are trying to treat fiction as a how-to manual.