[ SECRET POST #6904 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #6904 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 30 secrets from Secret Submission Post #986.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Disappointment.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm really sorry, anon. That's such a tough situation. :( I wish your friends were more supportive to you! It really hurts to feel like people don't care as much as you do, and like they aren't supportive of you when you have done so much for them. I have been there and I remember how devastating it was to realize that one friend in particular, who I had spent hours and hours and hours supporting through various things, did not care at all to talk to me the one time I needed her to. It's something you never forget.

Is it possible that your friend group with the shitty person, would be supportive of you if they knew what this person has done to you? Like, maybe some of them would side with you since the other person is in the wrong?

Re: Disappointment.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm having a hard time putting it out of my mind, that's for sure. I'm not really asking much, just an acknowledgment that the situation is crappy and some commiserations? Social circle drama can be awkward and uncomfortable for a lot of people, but we're all well into adulthood here and it just seems so cowardly. I would not and have never done that to them. When they've needed someone to listen or a shoulder to cry on, I've dropped everything to be there, so this is both surprising and disappointing.

"Is it possible that your friend group with the shitty person, would be supportive of you if they knew what this person has done to you? Like, maybe some of them would side with you since the other person is in the wrong?"

Some of them witnessed it in person, and I told the people who didn't. I tried not to be too melodramatic about it but the situation is complicated with a lot of history. It's going to affect the group dynamic in the future though, so it can't really be avoided. They've basically left me on read, which hurts like hell.

SA

[(Anonymous)]

I felt like I should clarify, because I'm afraid I'm not being very generous about my friends. Their silence has been extremely hurtful to me, but there are likely reasons for it. For starters, they don't like drama and hope to avoid it and not get involved. This isn't really possible in this situation because it won't blow over on its own and staying quiet will allow the person I'm fighting with to believe he's in the right. Not that he needs much help in that area, he always believes he's in the right.

Second, it's possible they're afraid of retaliation if they openly take my side. Since I posted, one friend did offer a quick supporting word in private saying she didn't think I was in the wrong, but that this wouldn't change our mutual friend's behavior at all, which I knew. The rest of the group is not wrong to be concerned about becoming targets themselves. Our mutual friend has a past history of collateral damage that way, and once he gets started it's not out of the question for him to lash out at everyone who disagrees with him.

That said, it wouldn't be a huge problem if we all agreed to stand up to the guy. In the past, when he's bitched about other people in the social circle and I thought he was being unfair and unkind, I told him so. I didn't let him think that he was right if he was being unreasonable, and I spoke up in support of the people he was trying to complain about (mostly just for living their lives in a way he didn't agree with) both publicly and privately, when he tried to talk shit about them behind their backs. I assumed that my friends would do the same for me. That's the part that strikes me as cowardly, and it makes me sad that I stood up for people because I thought it was the right thing to do and because we're friends, but I find myself alone in that belief.