fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #6986 ]

⌈ Secret Post #6986 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

Everything has spoiler or content warnings today!

01. [SPOILERS for season 5 of Stranger Things]

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02. [WARNING for discussion of JKR/transphobia]

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03. [WARNING for discussion of rape, abuse]

[Kobe Bryant, XXXtentacion]

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04. [WARNING for discussion of pedophilia]

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05. [WARNING for discussion of pedophilia]

[Michael Jackson]

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06. [WARNING for discussion of pedophilia, suicide]

[Michael Jackson]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 00 secrets from Secret Submission Post #997.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It reminds me of my childhood-- in part because it calls to mind the books I read and the daydreams they gave me, makes me think of Anne Shirley, of Frog and Toad, of Laura Ingalls Wilder... and in part because my grandfather built a cabin in the woods, where I spent large swathes of my childhood, dreamily wandering the woods and contemplating the fish pond, watching the birds or spotting a deer, hazy memories of my grandparents' garden, or the baking they did in the kitchen, the house full of my grandmother's little treasures-- crystals hanging in the windows, her hand-embroidered wall hanging, the art she collected, the tea parties she would set up for all her grandchildren, allowing us to use precious china cups with dainty painted flowers...

It's the foraging I learned a little about, it's the times my mother took up baking bread or making pasta, it's learning cross-stitch (and failing to learn to knit) at her knee, it's my other grandmother's collection of handmade afghans and embroidered pillowcases and well-loved roses, lemonade from her lemon tree, iced gingerbread. It's the hours I could spend reading, or exploring the creek behind our house when I was in 3rd-4th grade and we lived in a remote little town where our laundry dried out on a line and a fat tabby cat walked out of the woods, onto our porch, and chose us (me)-- and it's finding My Neighbor Totoro in the video rental store after moving to a new... not even 'town' out in the wilderness. It's learning to make butter with nothing more than heavy cream, a pinch of salt, and a jar.

It's... it's the romantic version of a life I grew up with rather than a realistic one, maybe-- but it's the life I was living when I met my best friend of nearly thirty years, the life I was living before the deaths of my grandparents, my dad. It's the life I was living before the pressures of adulthood! And it was a life where we were poor but it didn't weigh on me the same way it weighs on me as an adult, one who hasn't walked in the woods in a long time, and hasn't had a tea party with all my cousins in longer.

But, while I still can't knit, I do crochet now. And I bake. And I have a coffee mug with strawberries on it that makes me smile. And I try to carve out time to read the way I read when I was a kid. I have a Frog and Toad tee shirt that never fails to get compliments at the farmers' market or the library, where I can at least briefly feel like I'm part of the local community (and, where the farmers' market is concerned, where I can get produce locally, and little baked treats or jams). I may not be able to grow and make all my own food, but I like being able to buy it directly from the people who are growing it!

I like being able to slow down and breathe, which is not always easy and my health is so heavily exacerbated by stress. Which... makes it all the more crucial to slow down and breathe and give myself opportunities to be cozy, to be surrounded by soft things or cute things while I recuperate from the big, fast world.

That's part of the appeal to me, too. I like the idea of life being a bit slower, more time and room to breathe, do leisurely things that aren't productive in the monetary sense but add to your quality of life, stuff like that. I don't have the time or energy to do much more than work, then try to eat something that isn't junk food and the struggle with insomnia even though I'm tired, only to repeat it all the next day.

I do bits and pieces. I cross stitch! I used to bake more often, and miss it. I lack a green thumb but last year I managed to grow basil in a big pot outside my front door. I drink tea, and appreciate buttered toast a lot more than I ever imagined that I would when I was a kid. And I pick up the occasional tea cup and saucer for a collection that rarely gets used because none of my really good afternoon tea party attending friends live close enough. :(

[ SECRET POST #6986 ]

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