[ SECRET POST #7002 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #7002 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 26 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1000.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

05. https://cdn.imgchest.com/files/265aa3ea7dc6.png

Transcript by OP

[fscom]

I like indulging in ship and romance fic because I'm 90% sure I'm not capable of deep serious love IRL.

Feeling so strongly for another person is complete fantasy fiction to me in the way dragons are to other people.

[(Anonymous)]

Same OP, same.

[(Anonymous)]

Are you aromantic? My life got so much more peaceful after I accepted that about myself. I still love romance in fiction.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel the same as OP but am not aromantic. I just sometimes wonder if I'm not capable of true deep emotions and have a secret fear I have something like schizoid personality disorder.

I love reading romance because it makes me actually feel those things, and I like to imagine that some day I could feel those things for a real person (and that a real person could feel that way for me, which I also doubt).

DA

[(Anonymous)]

Similar here.

I don't think I'm aromantic because I have had, and currently do have, arguably romantic feelings for partners, but they're never deep and it's always conditional and subject to limits, which I'm of course up front about. I am comfortable around them, trust them, am fond of them and enjoy spending time with them and that's as passionate or passionless as the feelings get.

I would very quickly run away if someone felt passionately toward me. I have had that happen and it's very much not for me.

But luckily in fanfic it's not me involved in any of it so it's okay!

[(Anonymous)]

I won't assume OP to be, but I was going to comment the same thing, because pretty much this for me as well.

[(Anonymous)]

Same

[(Anonymous)]

There is something haunting and beautiful about that painting.

[(Anonymous)]

Not word for word, but I essentially agree.

[(Anonymous)]

Shipping used to be a huge outlet for my sorrow over not having crushes or being able to pursue love and relationships.
Then... I had a crush, then I had a relationship that ended very badly for me, and I struggle with enjoying shipfic now. :/

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, same. I'm aro/ace and I very much wish I could feel that intensely about another person, but it's just not something my brain does. So instead I get really obsessive and passionate about my ships being obsessive and passionate about each other. Lol.

Obviously, IRL that kind of obsessive passion tends not to bode well for long-term happiness. And truthfully, because I know this, I would probably opt for a moderately passionate, stable relationship instead, if I got to choose. But I definitely wouldn't choose to be forever single and permanently romantically disengaged, I can tell you that much.

[(Anonymous)]

Hm, interesting! I think I'm like you in the sense that my appreciation for romance and shipping came way before any real crushes or romantic love IRL, which always kind of puzzled me. Having actually experienced deep love IRL now, I think they are very different feelings, like to the point of being unrelated!

Fictional romance stories and relationships feel like a lot of other emotional / story catharsis to me (like the normal build-up and pay-off structure that stories are made out of), which people can appreciate without having experienced love, in my opinion. Same as quests or action-adventure plotlines in fiction and whatnot -- people may not have any experience with or desire to go on a quest but we enjoy the experience of feeling the emotions that get conjured up by such a setup.

Serious love IRL feels like the kind of deep affection and comfort and "omg so cute!" kind of feeling you have for e.g. a pet. They feel completely different to me!

I'm not saying you're wrong about your theory that you're seeking out love stories in fiction because you're missing/can't feel that feeling IRL, because you very well might, but it could just be IDK, completely unrelated to whatever your RL feelings about love and romance are.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel very similarly. In the past couple of years I've slowed down on consuming romance focused media (ex. I used to read a lot of bodice rippers), and the more I focus on my life and what I want to do, romance/dating is very much not appealing.
I recognize I can only see the drawbacks outweighing benefits to romance and dating. In fiction, romance seems to do so much for the main characters, and it's because it's fiction it can be used as a strong narrative device. That's it. It's a strong narrative device but IRL? It's a part of a nuanced life and if it's not balanced out well it makes life way complicated.
And I've already a complicated enough life to try to survive and thrive in. The sort of romance I'd wanted when I was young for sure feels like wishing dragons were real.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh my god SAME. I may be somewhere under the aro umbrella too, but the older I get, the less I want to share my life with anyone but close friends and family... and I still need MY space to be mine, ahaha.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah... I feel you. I'm not aro, but it's not so important to me that I feel like I have to have a relationship. If I can't find a partner who is a really good fit for me, I'd MUCH rather be single. I have the kind of people-pleaser personality that often leads me to be a doormat, and after having a really bad experience, I'm disinclined to date anyone ever again. It's just not worth it, to me. It's hard to know what someone is really like until you're in too deep and you're emotionally invested and then you're kind of trapped, at least if you're me. I'm terrible at handling stuff like that, and have a tendency to just suffer with it and keep on keeping on while being unhappy and resentful, and it's horrible for my mental health, AND leads to the other person being blindsided when I finally can't handle it anymore.