[ SECRET POST #7079 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #7079 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 31 secrets from Secret Submission Post #1011.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

This is why I absolutely do not understand why women choose to have children with men like that. You KNOW what he's like, he isn't going to magically change once the kid arrives. Why do women go through with having the kid and then get all shocked Pikachu when he turns out to be a shitty dad? Like, no shit, Sherlock!

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt - IME, the woman I know who did that couldn't imagine looking at a helpless infant and her maternal instinct kicked into overdrive. She thought her husband would do the same, that he'd be out there building playhouses or throwing footballs, having little tea parties, what have you. Because that's what she became, even though she didn't always want children. She thought she married a good guy who'd come through, but turns out he didn't see a lovely baby, he saw an expensive crying, pooping machine that was interrupting his football game.

Mind you, I knew he was a giant asshole, but there was no way to diplomatically say so. A man who leaves you to do the majority of the housework even though you BOTH have full time jobs is not a man who's going to step up and be Dad of the Year when the time comes.

[(Anonymous)]

Also keep in mind that a lot of men mislead the women they're with, they talk a good game about being equal partners and an involved parent (because they want their wife/girlfriend to stay!) and then they don't deliver. But by then it's too late, the baby's here, you've got no job and no help around the house and your partner is too tired to help you with nighttime feedings.

[(Anonymous)]

99% of people don't actually know what equality looks like.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I get you. :/ Some men seem good and then change after the baby is born, but there are some who are shite from day 1 of the relationship and it's like why on earth did you stay with him, and have his baby, if he shows you who he is then believe him! Don't think there's going to be a magical transformation for the better after baby arrives because chances are it won't happen!

[(Anonymous)]

IME These women would rather put their eggs in a patriarchal basket than not. They believe the rewards in potentially having their boyfriend/husband show up as the man they want will pay off more than choosing not to have a man in their life. Conscious or not, they want to believe they can reap the rewards of taking the risk of trusting a man than to not.

Couldn't be me. And it doesn't make me happy to not trust men. That's a part of why it's all rather sad. I don't want to think most men are selfish and would suck or do suck as a father and partner, but my experiences tell me it's more common to have a father be a bad father and partner than to be a good or decent one. And I personally could never take that risk.

[(Anonymous)]

"IME These women would rather put their eggs in a patriarchal basket than not. They believe the rewards in potentially having their boyfriend/husband show up as the man they want will pay off more than choosing not to have a man in their life. Conscious or not, they want to believe they can reap the rewards of taking the risk of trusting a man than to not."

To be fair, women are brought up and brainwashed to believe this. Men enforce this belief all the time, and their own mothers and other female relatives will enforce it as well. Going against that brainwashing is difficult, because there's cultural and societal blowback.

Personally, I'm with you. No more men for me, thanks. It's too much work for very little reward and I don't have the strength to pick through the garbage looking for a gem. But I understand why a lot of women think they should do that and while they do have responsibility for their choices, those choices are VERY heavily influenced by society from cradle to the grave.

[(Anonymous)]

Same, same. I'm almost 40 and it has taken my entire life (and a REALLY SUPREMELY SHITTY relationship) to train myself out of that mindset.