Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2010-05-11 08:40 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2010-05-11 08:40 pm
[ SECRET POST #1225 ]
⌈ Secret Post #1225 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: ?? pages, ??? secrets from Secret Submission Post #175.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
120OP
(Anonymous) 2010-05-12 11:10 am (UTC)(link)Re: 120OP
(Anonymous) 2010-05-12 11:31 am (UTC)(link)Re: 120OP
Here's the thing. I don't know how much you've been lying to maintain this identity. If it barely came up as a subject, you said you were a gay guy maybe once and that was that, you might get away with telling your friends. But you still might lose them. If you've been lying a lot, for example saying things like "as a man, I can tell you... blah blah blah" or anything else where people would have treated you differently because you were a man -- then you got a problem, because basically you've been lying to your friends and manipulating them.
Because, here's the thing, slash fangirls do treat the gay males in fandom preferentially. They worry about your opinions more, they listen to them more. You are deemed an automatic expert in both gayness and maleness having "lived the life", and therefore your opinions on both are held in higher regard because they represent reality. They also worry more about offending you, since while gay men are their fetish, they don't want to seem disrespectful or objectifying. And then there is just the thrill of knowing someone who lives your fantasy life -- that gives you a bit of a celebritydom.
All those who once gave you preferential treatment you can pretty much cross off your f-list if you reveal yourself. They will consider themselves used by you. Snookered. Played with. Trolled. If you have anyone on your F-list who made it a point of pride that they didn't care what gender you were -- you may keep them. Though if you've been lying about your personal life, they will use that as an excuse to dump you.
You know, it sucks, but you dug this yourself by lying. This is why LURK MOAR is such good advice. Go reinvent yourself as a woman. Let this sock die. The nice thing about fandom is that it's ephemeral. Most of your fandom friends would have left you and moved on to other interests eventually anyway.