fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1436 ]

[ SECRET POST #1436 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1436 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 055 secrets from Secret Submission Post #205.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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33. http://i56.tinypic.com/o0x9vn.jpg

...and by many scientific studies, you're exactly right to doubt that. :D

http://www.csmonitor.com/2006/0515/p13s01-stct.html

http://humanresources.about.com/od/interpersonalcommunicatio1/a/nonverbal_com.htm

It's funny, because IRL I can't decode clues like facial expression and voice that well. I love the internet because I don't have to. The fact that it lacks information (which I can't read) makes communication much clearer to me (because now I'm not expected to).

Some people may be quite guarded in their rl I suppose?

I don't think even half my personality comes through online either though.

THANK YOU!

Because sometimes, when you're face-to-face with a person, you might not be confident enough to talk how you'd like. Through text, you can edit something before you 'say' it, to make sure it comes across alright, and emotions aren't running so high because you have time to make considered responses. And, well, sometimes you just can't pull shit off irl - online I can write "sup bro hows it hangin" but irl if I say that I'm so nerdy, female and middle class that it just comes across as... sad. I've been told that how I speak irl and how I speak online is very different, and yeah, I'd say the way I type better reflects my internal monologue (and therefore 'me') than how I speak.

But you can't excise that social reserve as "not being a part of your personality." I'd almost argue that we can be better than ourselves on the internet (arguments, trolls, and memes aside) because we have time to think about what we're going to say. For instance, I've edited this comment three times since I first wrote it because of various miswordings and spelling errors.

(no subject)

cyren-2132.livejournal.com - 2010-12-10 01:12 (UTC) - Expand

I agree. I like my online persona and it's not deliberately misleading and I think it reflects me pretty well, but there's just no way a medium based on text and graphics could mirror the irl medium of expressions and verbal communication.

For me, I'm just not a good communicator in person. My mind goes blank and I have nothing to say or what I do say doesn't come out how I mean it. In text, nobody is expecting an immediate answer right NOW NOW NOW (unless you're IM-ing or texting, neither of which do I do that often) and I've got time to really absorb what's being said and craft a response that covers everything I want to say in the way I want to say it.

Maybe what they mean is that they personally feel more like their "true selves" while interacting in fandom, rather than that their comments get more of their personality across.

Whether or not you can be your "true self" the fact is you can always be the best of your personality online because you can take the time to edit and to portray yourself exactly how you want to.

This, exactly.

For some of us it's that we can share opinions and sides of us that we just can't in real life, for various reasons. Sexuality, gender, crushes, that time we cheated on our wife with her sister, the hyper OMG feeling about something fandom related that no one in real life would understand, crying when your favorite band splits up *cough*

It isn't EVERYTHING you are, but you're never showing everything in one moment, in real life or online. With time (presuming you're being honest, of course) certain people who know you online might end up knowing the real life you AND the sides people IRL might never know.

So really, that's what I mean when I say this is my "true self." It's sometimes exaggerated, but no more or less true than the subdued persona I play for my professors or the social persona I play for my family.

This was pretty much what I wanted to say.

I don't think anyone can ever really know 100% of your "true self," but my online friends know a lot more of me than my offline ones.

While I might be more talkative online than irl, my full personality definitely doesn't come through, so I agree completely.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately but I'm still not sure how I feel about it. On one hand, you can be whatever you want to be like online and it can never possibly capture the nuances of your actual personality or whatever. On the other hand, doesn't the way you wish you could portray yourself, the personality you wish you had, say something about you?

I guess I can just better express who I am online. Sure my presence on the internet doesn't get across my entire personality, but neither does my presence in real life.

Personally, I do feel I can represent more of my inner self on the internet, simply because I am better at written communication than at spoken communication. I kind of suck at spoken communication! And I suck at speaking and thinking at the same time. To me, a keyboard is a more direct interface for pouring out my thoughts than my mouth is. It's weird; even though a machine and often lots and lots of miles part me from the people I talk to online, I feel like it is more direct because it removes the barrier of the body (in the sense that the body simply doesn't factor into the equation) and with today's connection speeds, response can be instantaneous.

I'm not sure I'd call this any more "true" than my RL persona, though. Rather, I feel that it's equally true; it just exists in an entirely different context.

I think how the other person/people perceives you is a big factor too. I might feel like I'm being my 'true self' online, but the people reading my ttext might misinterpret my words or read them completely different to how I intended because they don't know what tone I was writing them in.

Presumably they mean they say things on line that they wouldn't say IRL.

IA with this. I do think you can get a sense of people from text, and I'm probably more open to disclosing things through a veil of anonymity, but it's not even close to RL.

I disagree. It's true that online communication has some serious snags to it, like lack of tone of voice, body language, facial expression, etc, but I think what that really means is that people have a greater responsibility to watch out for and clear up misunderstandings. Meanwhile, IRL communication has its fair share of complications and mix-ups, too.

Personally I think people's true selves can come across equally online and IRL, depending on how honest the person wants to be on a case by case basis.

What really makes me sad about this thought process, though, is that what OP is expressing is what leads to people treating their online friendships as throwaway.

Yeah, this is pretty much what I came here to say.

This.

It's good to be cautious online as well as real life too, because while some people online feel more honest using it, others use it to lie and screw around with people's heads.

(no subject)

miezen.livejournal.com - 2010-12-10 03:52 (UTC) - Expand

"How true can you be through text on the screen?"

...When you read a novel, can you gain a sense of the personality of a character?

(no subject)

rikuxsora.livejournal.com - 2010-12-10 19:59 (UTC) - Expand

I'm living with a fiance I met and was friends with over the internet for several years.

Both he and I have said numerous times that we are barely different online, than we are in person.

I guess it just depends on how good you are at expressing yourself in text, and how good the other is at interpreting your text.
Although that could be said of real life, as well. People have misunderstandings face-to-face all the time.

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