fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1496 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1496 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 12 pages, 293 secrets from Secret Submission Post #214.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 2 3 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

... why? Somebody explain this to me, to me it's just a word... is it because it implies an affair? Sex without feelings?

For me, it just feels awkward. It's not a word that I'd ever use, and you don't really hear it in RL or much in media and stuff.

Also, I love your icon. That's some good advice:)

I think it implies the opposite, a relationship with feelings. It just seems... hrm. Outdated? If the fic were set in the 1800s or something, "he was her lover" would sound fine. Everyone had "lovers" back then. But it's like reading a modern fic and having people constantly referring to dating as "courtship," or reading something set in the 1800s and having people call someone "the Duke's girlfriend."

Not the op but I agree with them.

Oh. Well, that makes sense. I'm not a native English speaker, so it doesn't seem like that to me, but now I can see where all of you are coming from with that 'it doesn't sound right'.
Thanks!

This.

I don't mind the word in say, medieval or Victorian era settings at all! It's only when people try to shoehorn it into 2011 where it becomes strange. The idea of a "lover" has sort of become a thing of the past, and carries all the - like you said, connotations of proper, ritual courtship and such that don't get used any more.

That's plausible!
I also cringe at "Geliebte/r" in German, which is the translation of lover and also outdated.

I immediatly think of "Liebhaber" when I read "lover". Who the fuck would refer to their partners like that?

I think it really depends on how the word's used.

"Hey, ich hab mich wieder mit meinem Geliebten getroffen *eyebrow wiggle*" <- okay (as long as it's not excessively used)

"Mein Geliebter und ich haben uns neulich ein ganz schnuckeliges Haus angeschaut... <3" <- BWAH

Same goes for the English version, imho.
Though there I can tolerate it a bit better, maybe because it's not my first language, I don't know, but I think it has a nicer sound than the German equivalent.

It's still way better than "Baby", "Darling", "Honey", "Sweetie". Those make me gag, especially if they're used by characters, who never use words like that in canon. Let alone in slash fic...
Those words might be "newer" but... they're also cheesier :/

I guess it's t´really just a question of taste *shrug*

Edited 2011-02-06 23:47 (UTC)

Man I feel old. Back in the 70s and 80s it wasn't so unusual to call someone a lover.
I admit to using it every now and then... lol

erm, me too. i have my chars call each other lover, as in "hey lover, what are you doing" type of thing. i guess it's cos i'm an old fart.

It's different if it's a pet name than if it's used in narrative, though.

"'Hey, lover,' said Sarah with a fond smile," is much different from "Sarah was watching TV. Then she turned to look at her lover."

I was rather under the impression that the secret was about the pet name version, though. It is an age difference thing, though - I imagine people remember the old, unattractive people in their life using it as a romantic epithet and go into DO NOT WANT MODE. What a pity.

Both examples given have it used in narration, though?

Actually, I think this explains why I don't mind it as much as some people - MFU slash.

I think it's because it's been overused in fanfiction, especially slash fanfiction, as an epithet. People don't want to use the characters' names or "he" or "she," so they start saying "his lover." This is right along with "the taller man" and "the blond" and all that. :)

That's what it is for me. In my neck of the woods, a lover is someone you're cheating on a spouse with or someone whose sole purpose is to give you orgasms. If that's the role the character is playing in the fic, fine. But if there's actually supposed to be a relationship with feelings and without infidelity, it just seems rather demeaning and incomplete to call somebody simply a lover.

What really made this word awful for me though was all the times Buffy called Angel her lover. It just sounded so weird (and, I don't know, kind of gross) for her to call him that to other people. Maybe it's slightly prudish of me, but using a term that implies "Yeah, I'm totally having sex with this person!" with friends and family is a little TMI. Everyone may know it; that doesn't mean you have to highlight it in everyday conversation.

[ SECRET POST #1496 ]

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no subject

A time period thing perhaps?

Re: A time period thing perhaps?

+1

Re: A time period thing perhaps?

Re: A time period thing perhaps?

Re: A time period thing perhaps?

Re: A time period thing perhaps?

Re: A time period thing perhaps?

Re: A time period thing perhaps?

Re: A time period thing perhaps?

Re: A time period thing perhaps?

Re: A time period thing perhaps?

no subject

no subject