fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1555 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1555 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 076 secrets from Secret Submission Post #222.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - unreadable ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

25. http://bit.ly/gECoKY

Dude, poly people cheat too. Polyamorous does not equal sleeping with everyone everywhere. It means open discussion and the option of entering in multiple relationships or a relationship with multiple partners.

Your wife is an ass and I'm really sorry for what she did to you, and for ruining OT3 pairings.

Yeah, I assume you had the opportunity to tell your wife that's not how being polyamorous works. You don't cheat and THEN claim "oh btw I'm totes poly." That's not how that works.

I'm sorry she ruined OT3s for you. If it's any consolation, the passage of time will make that shit easier to deal with.

... oh my god. Not how poly works!

I'm sorry she betrayed your trust, and I hope you can enjoy your OT3 again someday. >:

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2011-04-06 21:21 (UTC) - Expand

pelespen.livejournal.com - 2011-04-06 23:32 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2011-04-07 05:34 (UTC) - Expand

sky-queen3.livejournal.com - 2011-04-07 11:59 (UTC) - Expand

Polyamorous: Yer doin' it wrong. She has like, no excuse for doing something like that.

Read your OT3s, and think 'Yeah, well, you know what? This is how you SHOULD have done it, and you were a stupid, selfish, woman. This is an OT3. What you did was just be a bitch.'

I'm so sorry for you, OP. That's a horrible thing she's done to you, and the knock on effects obviously aren't nice either. :( I hope things get better for you.

~~Also, hello, Jaime's legs.~~

If she was poly she should've told you from the beginning. Dishonesty is really the heart of what makes a cheater a cheater, not simply sleeping with another person.

Anyway, sorry to hear about that, hopefully your romantic and sexual life improves in the future

Edited 2011-04-06 20:26 (UTC)

I'm really sorry to hear that. :\ It's bad enough as it is the way society thinks polyamory = sluttiness. It really only works if everyone's being honest and not hurting each other, as far as I can tell.

ahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha

that's fucking hilarious, ngl

Uhm, yeah. What everyone else said and then some. And goddamnit it's people like that who give polyamory a bad rep. Also? Just to vent my own shit, polyamory isn't an excuse for knowingly fucking around with someone who isn't in an open relationship, either.

Sorry you lost your OT3. Maybe try and imagine/mentally reinforce your OT3 as a closed, commited relationship, just with three folks instead of two. That's not infidelity, it's just an extra person.

I'm sorry, anon

*blushes*

Oops.

Re: OP just realized she spelled "able" wrong

(Anonymous) - 2011-04-07 01:09 (UTC) - Expand

sky-queen3.livejournal.com - 2011-04-07 11:58 (UTC) - Expand

Your wife is a scumbag. I hope you move on to greener pastures, OP.

Wow, your wife is a bitch. I'm sorry she screwed up your marriage AND your escapism.

That really sucks, OP.

Maybe you could write cathartic fic where your favorite OT3 comes across a similar cheating situation, and they tell the other character off because that is not how polyamory works.

Your wife is not poly, she's just an asshole.

Oddly, I'm more pissed that she's ruined your OT3s for you.

I'm really sorry about this. I hope that you meet someone better (who understands what polyamorous means) or at the very least are able to enjoy your OT3s again.

Two, Jamie and Zoe would never do that. Their love is pure!

Argh, it makes me SO mad when people cheat and "blame" it on poly. SO NOT HOW THAT WORKS! *twitches* Sorry you had to deal with that, and that you're still dealing with it. I know I'm going through something similar with my mom, in a way... she suddenly VERY much dislikes and distrusts my poly relationship because my dad cheated. :\ *hugs if you would like them, OP*

Not OP but

(Anonymous) - 2011-04-07 10:12 (UTC) - Expand

Yeah, welcome to the reason I don't like OT3s anymore. :|

She might be poly, but not telling you !Before! the cheating counts as assholishness. Maybe someday you'll be able to enjoy OT3 pairings again . . . and with someone who is more considerate.

Adding to the "that's not polyamory, that's just being an ass" dogpile on her. The core of polyamory is loving and being honest with everyone involved. There's a reason communicate^3 is the unofficial poly motto. And while I have twice seen someone cheat, and then realize in the aftermath that they were genuinely poly and being in a monogamous relationship wasn't working for them, in both cases the monogamous relationship broke up due to the loss of trust - they weren't able to build a real polyamorous relationship with their partners because they'd done too much damage. (Then there was the lovely poly quad that broke into two couples because one of the wives decided she wanted to be monogamous - and then she cheated on her partner, who, despite still identifying as poly, was being faithful to her. But that's another story entirely.)

Also, I hope that you can eventually dis-associate your OT3 from this situation, because damn, that's too lovely an OT3 to lose. :-(

I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope that if you decide to fix the relationship, you'll be able to work past it, and if you decide you can't, then you're happy by yourself.

Hugs?

(Anonymous) - 2011-04-07 05:32 (UTC) - Expand

Ditto what everyone has said. I'd also like to say what an adorable picture that is. Don't let your current hurt and rage affect what's given you joy in the past.

I am so sorry for your experience, OP.

I had a really bad experience ruin OT3s/threesome fic for me, too.

What a bitch, I'm sorry, but she is. I'm sorry she did what she did and I'm also sorry your OT3 pairings were ruinned.