case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-04-09 03:42 pm

[ SECRET POST #1558 ]


⌈ Secret Post #1558 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 12 pages, 291 secrets from Secret Submission Post #223.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ], [ 1 - take it to comments ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

[identity profile] wldcatsprstr-14.livejournal.com 2011-04-09 08:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow you make marriage and pregnancy sound like something so...awful.

I just don't see what's so wrong with getting married young and having children. I almost feel like people in this thread are looking down on people who do, which breaks my heart cuz I want to get married and have kids while I'm still young.

I just wonder why it seems like people hate the idea so much.

(And it doesn't necessarily have to be hetero-normality.)

[identity profile] judo-creature.livejournal.com 2011-04-09 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
AHHHHH I was actually worried about that and rewrote my comment to make it sound less severe, but it looks like I didn't soften it enough!

I wasn't trying to speak for everyone or my view on anyone else's life, just mine; sorry if I implied otherwise. I just know for a fact that if I were married and with kids at that age, it would probably be a bad, bad situation. I could ramble for a long time about why, but I just kind of responded a bit viscerally at the thought, because of what I know about myself, my personality, and my tendency toward relationships, the only likely circumstance that would end up with me married and pregnant so young would not be one that would make me happy at all.

That being said, if you want to have kids and marry young, absolutely go for it. Whatever makes you happy, really. My aversion is really just a personal thing.

(Anonymous) 2011-04-09 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
That's some peoples opinion.

Not everyone thinks having children is an amazing experience. It's a lot of physical pain and responsibility. Plenty of young people don't want to deal with it until they are ready. You need to have a steady income of money to support the kid and a good place to settle down and be willing to dedicate your life into raising a kid.

You can see why a lot of young people would like to live for themselves for awhile before taking that kind of responsibility.

I don't see the problem in wanting that.

[identity profile] wldcatsprstr-14.livejournal.com 2011-04-09 09:07 pm (UTC)(link)
Well I understand that. But when people react with absolute horror and disdain, I'm just like o.O

(Anonymous) 2011-04-09 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Do you react the same to people who express horror and disdain about gore, imprisonment, and being forced into conformity? Because that's what having children and getting married IS to some people. You think differently, yay for you, but don't be all o.O just because others don't like the same things you do.

[identity profile] wldcatsprstr-14.livejournal.com 2011-04-10 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
Well I specifically say I don't understand the mentality so I have every right to be confused and o.O

I never said people shouldn't be freaked out; I just don't understand why they are. That entitles me to my confusion.

[identity profile] perrie.livejournal.com 2011-04-10 07:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Because some people, basically, want to be selfish with their youth. And that is not a bad thing. In fact, that's exactly what I want to do, and what I am doing.

I'm being selfish - I'm spending money where I want to spend it. I'm travelling where I want, seeing who I want, eating food just for myself and not coming back to my home until 3am if I feel like it. I'm 26 and SO not ready for marriage and kids. I'm ready for work, and for travel and for, basically, being selfish until the day when I get married and have a child, and my life is not the primary focus anymore. That's why I'm freaked out about the thought of marrying so young, because there's so much I want to do, and you cannot do that with a child in tow.

[identity profile] wldcatsprstr-14.livejournal.com 2011-04-10 08:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Well I understand that because I know a lot of people who feel the same. I have a ton of things I want to do too. Only difference is that I personally think I can do them and still have children at the same time. But I would never say that people should just get married because they're young and they shouldn't wait.

I just get angry when people say that people who marry young are "wasting their youth," or "stupid because it won't last." Getting married and having kids is an important commitment to make and those kinds of responses are just belittling and disrespectful IMO.

[identity profile] jinx24.livejournal.com 2011-04-09 09:40 pm (UTC)(link)
The fact that there's a chance that you'll spend half the pregnancy nauseous, that maybe your body and arms swell up so bad, and that childbirth sounds 50000000x more horrifying, that you have to raise someone who screams and cries and keeps you up most of the night. That's just some reasons why I don't have kids. So yes, it does sound awful to some of us.

and marriage, well, I didn't exactly have the best role models growing up so yeah.

[identity profile] wldcatsprstr-14.livejournal.com 2011-04-10 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
Well I understand that people make the personal choice to get married. I was commenting on the people who look down on others for choosing that for themselves. Sometimes they can be very belittling and pretty much tell people that they're wasting their lives because they choose to have kids or commit to a life-long relationship. And that's just disrespectful in my opinion.