case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-04-21 07:13 pm

[ SECRET POST #1570 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1570 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Early day today! (:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 56 secrets from Secret Submission Post #224.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2011-04-22 01:13 am (UTC)(link)
Well, some of us don't feel safe in spaces that are full of females, either.

(Anonymous) 2011-04-22 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
Cry me a river, you already have a safe space: it's called, "the world at large".

(Anonymous) 2011-04-22 02:12 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, you try being beaten nearly to death and left in a ditch to bleed out BY GIRLS then come and tell me how safe you feel around other women.

Oh, and by the way? I'm female too.

(Anonymous) 2011-04-22 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, because those girls you've encountered speak and act for every single woman on earth.

(Anonymous) 2011-04-22 07:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes... because those men you've encountered who've done you wrong in the past "speak and act for every single [man] on earth." See your double-standard there???

(Anonymous) 2011-04-22 02:15 am (UTC)(link)
Sexism is not excused because members of that sex caused you harm. that's like getting mugged by a black individual and deciding it's okay to hate all black people now. Or getting punched by a dude and concluding all men are evil.

(Anonymous) 2011-04-22 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
But so many people are OK with others hating all men after something happened to them, perpetrated by a man. I nearly was nearly killed by a group of females. I don't see how it's any different.

I really don't see how this is any way comparable to racism.

(Anonymous) 2011-04-22 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
But so many people are OK with others hating all men after something happened to them, perpetrated by a man.

Who is okay with that? I just said it wasn't okay. I don't know anyone who thinks that's okay. In fact, anyone with those attitudes is considered distinctly not-okay.

Some girls beating you up has absolutely no bearing on an entire gender composed of billions of people. That's completely bullshit.

(Anonymous) 2011-04-22 02:41 am (UTC)(link)
Go to sfd_a sometime, and you can see what I'm talking about.

Theoretically, I know it doesn't make sense, especially since I'm female myself. But then I remember that I can't walk without a cane as a result of what happened then. I'm covered in scars. I nearly died. And you know why they did it to me? Because they thought I stole one of their boyfriends.

Logically, I know it doesn't make sense. I know that. I just am frightened that it could happen again, and I might not be so lucky to survive.

(Anonymous) 2011-04-22 03:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Just popping in to say that I'm so sorry about what you went through, anon. That's beyond awful.

[identity profile] oaktree89.livejournal.com 2011-04-22 11:06 pm (UTC)(link)
Just popping in to say that sf_d and sfd_a are total bullshit. The people there care more about wank than activism, and I don't take them remotely seriously anymore.

[identity profile] kelincihutan.livejournal.com 2011-04-22 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
Isn't that the point the second anon has been trying to make from the start of this? That being afraid in a male-dominated space just because there are lots of men in it is just as not-okay as being afraid in a female-dominated one just because there are lots of women in it. Which it is. But the fact that only anon-2 has pointed that out to anon-1 (and then several hours later), whereas, it looks like, at least two anons jumped in on anon-2 after just a few minutes is a subtle indication that, in fandom at least, the first attitude is generally thought to be okay.

And yes, I'm a woman, too.

InB4: OMG,U H8 wymyn! Privilege, etc.

(Anonymous) 2011-04-22 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
But women can never be violent and can't harm each other!

Or something.

(Anonymous) 2011-04-22 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
You aren't inherently at a greater likelihood to be harmed in a space where you're around people of equal privilege on the axis of sex as you are around people socially privileged over yourself and conditioned to regard you as lesser.

We live in a misogynist society. Therefore it's advantageous to a woman's safety to be cautious and distrustful of men as opposed to women (barring... unique situations like anon's above).
meadowphoenix: (Default)

[personal profile] meadowphoenix 2011-04-22 04:07 am (UTC)(link)
Except for the fact that they aren't unique. Most girls who are bullied are bullied by other girls (and also boys, definitely girls) Women on women violence is perhaps more ignorable than man on woman violence, because of the perceived equality.

[identity profile] kelincihutan.livejournal.com 2011-04-22 12:13 pm (UTC)(link)
I read this comment and was very turned off by it. So I slept on it, to work out exactly how to put into words why. So here goes.

This attitude would make women not responsible for their own prejudices.

Since you are saying it is more okay to feel uncomfortable around men, simply because they are men, than it is around women for the same reason, then you are saying it's okay for women to have prejudices against men that they don't need even to try to correct. And this is okay because women obviously have no power since the entire world is against us and there's really only so much we can do to combat that anyway.

Way to suck at feminism. Way to undermine the point of feminism entirely, actually. That is the most disempowering mindset I've seen in this whole thread.

Because, as people here are so fond of pointing out, nothing happens in a vacuum. Not even the prejudices of groups that do not have privilege--women in this particular discussion. A woman's prejudice against men might not have the same power that a man's prejudice against women does, but it is not powerless. Someone is affected by it. Someone is hurt by it. Especially when it is expressed so unrepentantly in spaces that are not "safe" or gendered where men absolutely will encounter it. And double especially (if you can say that) when it is expressed in a space like that where women do have power. Like fandom, for instance. By saying that women's prejudices are acceptable, you are saying that the people hurt by them do not matter. That some people really are acceptable targets. And if that's the case, then it's really just a matter of opinion as to which ones are which. Since men have the power right now, if you were correct, the fact that we live in a misogynist society wouldn't actually be wrong.

Therefore, I reject your argument and I'm gonna stick to my guns. Being afraid in a male-dominated space just because there are lots of men in in it is just as not okay as being afraid in a female-dominated space just because there are lots of women in it.

TL;DR: If yo do not respect the value of every human being (men included), you don't really respect the value of any human being (women included).

[identity profile] hikari87.livejournal.com 2011-04-22 03:45 pm (UTC)(link)
you are awesome. have some internets. many, many internets.

[identity profile] anivad.livejournal.com 2011-04-22 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)
"A woman's prejudice against men might not have the same power that a man's prejudice against women does, but it is not powerless."

It is powerless when it's not so much prejudice as fear, due to being brought up to regard all men as potential rapists. 1 in 6 females will get sexually assaulted in their lifetime, almost definitely by a male. I don't see how it's "not okay" to be afraid of that.

[identity profile] kelincihutan.livejournal.com 2011-04-22 07:03 pm (UTC)(link)
Prejudice doesn't come from nowhere. Fear is one of a number of things that feeds it. As for the rest, while I share the fear of the particular outcome of sexual assault for a number of reasons, generalizing that fear to all men just because they are men is...all the stuff I covered in my above post.

[identity profile] anivad.livejournal.com 2011-04-22 07:05 pm (UTC)(link)
yes, but it's not something that can just be changed so easily; if I could, I'd definitely choose to be completely comfortable around men, but I can't, and it's not something I can help.

[identity profile] leafing.livejournal.com 2011-04-22 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
Holy shit, anon, that's terrible. :(

I think I'd feel the same way as you do if that happened to me. And also I'd never leave my house again.