Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2011-04-25 07:38 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2011-04-25 07:38 pm
[ SECRET POST #1574 ]
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 07 pages, 173 secrets from Secret Submission Post #225.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 1 - repeats ], [ 1 - unreadable ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.
Re: correct me if I'm wrong but
(Anonymous) 2011-04-26 07:17 pm (UTC)(link)There has to be an openness about sex in any relationship. Partners are rarely going to have exactly the same level of interest/need for sex, but I can't see it working if they're too far apart. The only marriage I've seen between an asexual and a sexual who winds up being celibate is.... yeeeesh. It isn't fair to either party.
I've got a fairly low sex drive, but after a year of no sex while in a relationship, I know very well I need it and will make that known with my partners. It's not the top priority as far as what I look for in a relationship, but it's still a necessary component. And I sure as hell don't want a partner who just humors me with it.
Re: correct me if I'm wrong but
(Anonymous) 2011-04-26 08:32 pm (UTC)(link)QFMFT.
Don't get me wrong, I have no issues with people of different lifestyles, and if they can get a relationship like this to work, more power to them. I find it much more realistic for two asexual people to be able to have a healthy, functioning relationship where they love each other and are romantic but there's the understanding of little to no sex involved, than people from two completely different lifestyles trying to shoehorn each other into their separate lifestyles. Sorry, sometimes love just doesn't conquer all, and that goes for anything, not just orientation.
Semi-related story: I almost got involved with a guy several years ago, until he had the forethought to share with me that: a.) he never wants to have kids, and b.) he believes in open relationships. Say what you want about his lifestyle choices, I certainly don't judge him for them, but we were able to make the informed, adult decision that we have different ideas on relationships and family and that any serious relationship between us would end in total disaster. We're still great friends to this day, as a matter of fact, because we were able to recognize very early on that we wouldn't work as a couple. He didn't expect me to be OK with the fact that we could have partners other than each other, just as I didn't expect him to be OK with procreating.