[ SECRET POST #1575 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1575 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL/EMOTIONAL ABUSE

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TRIGGER WARNING FOR INCEST, RAPE

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 132 secrets from Secret Submission Post #225.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I think you're reading things into the secret that aren't there.

[indevoutly.livejournal.com]

Please explain?

Secret poster has said he wishes to live 'vicariously though fictional' males because of his gender dysphoria. He explains that he fears he's 'contributing to the marginalization of female characters' presumably due to the fact he almost exclusively likes/ships/role plays/draws and writes males.

I suggested that he continues to use fandom as a source of peace through exploring male sexuality to come to terms with his own issues, but I expressed confusion that he was unable to appreciate the genderless qualities of women (assuming that the reason he hasn't is because his primary focus is on 'males' and, by conclusion, he would not appreciate exploring 'feminine' ideals).

I don't know why he can't have his cake and eat it too!

[(Anonymous)]

Not wanting to live vicariously through female characters is not the same thing as not appreciating/admiring any quality (genderless or otherwise) of women. Your assumption is a big one.

[indevoutly.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see where you believe I assumed. Thank you for your criticism - it did undermine my argument!

[bloodrivendream.livejournal.com]

He never said anything about not being able to appreciate genderless qualities of women. That is the part of the secret that is not there.
You made an excessive leap from mostly obsesses over male characters to where you ended up.

[indevoutly.livejournal.com]

I have already apologised for my mistake. I have ADHD and I'm often jumping to conclusions. I like people correcting me on them though - it's the only way I'll learn!

I definitely assumed that he felt he disregarded women as a whole rather than partially. I know realise this was an incorrect assumption and I apologise to the secret maker for any offence that might have been incurred :)

[bloodrivendream.livejournal.com]

I commented before I noticed anon had already answered your question.
Good to hear you are open to corrections. Hope mine was helpful.

[(Anonymous)]

I can't speak for the OP, but being able to appreciate a character and being able to live vicariously through them aren't exactly the same thing.

I'm genderqueer and on days when my dysphoria is bad I can't stand writing or roleplaying female characters because trying to wriggle into their metaphorical skin reminds me acutely of how uncomfortable I am in my own. There are plenty of female characters who I really, really like, but I just can't engage with them fannishly in certain ways unless my headspace is cooperating.

[indevoutly.livejournal.com]

That sounds very distressing :(

(I hope you've read the replies to this comment so you realise I have already made a mistake in my assumptions)

From what you are saying, my mistake is partially because I didn't recognise the way I do fandom verses the way others do fandom could be different - I don't feel like I need to "wriggle into anyone's skin" to do fannish things with my favourite characters. Writing (my preferred fandom activity) comes instinctively to me by looking at their personality which, I believe to be, entirely genderless.

(If OP only has a problem with living vicariously through female characters then I don't think OP is marginalising women at all - I don't live vicariously though any characters (male or female) yet I don't feel I've been marginalising anything!)

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry about that- I was in the middle of typing that reply when the other responses went up, so I didn't see them until after I'd posted.

I can understand where you're coming from a bit better, now that you've elaborated a little more. The only way I know how to do roleplay or writing (at least, for my main characters) is through the sort of immersion I mentioned before. Doing it the way you describe would largely dodge that whole issue- and if that's the only way YOU know, it's not entirely surprising that you conflated things the way you did.

Thank you for taking the time to listen.