If you weren't warned, then feel free to raise a fuss. It doesn't sound like the maker of the secret wasn't warned, it sounds like they just wanted to cause drama.
That experience of yours is pretty fucking surreal, and the person who said that to you is pretty dumb. If you think something should be warned about, warn about it.
In my own experience, and in my own spaces/fandoms, people have exhibited pretty good common sense. And if you aren't warning for something like, say, rape, or child abuse, or other common triggers, that is asshole behavior. Warning for eating disorders is also pretty necessary. Warning about racism seems similar, although if the historical AU is the Civil War or colonial America then maybe someone should expect it.
Warning for character death...that depends.
No, there is no consistent rule, and I'm not saying that people have no right to get upset when something blindsides them or that they can't fucking care all they want in their own spaces. But...I mean, what the fuck is gained by turning around and making secrets like this, where there's value judgment all over the place and people using the excuse of pain that might or might not be real (this being the Internet, and people being able to pretend behind a shield of anonymity that they are absolutely any form of human in existence) as an excuse to cause other people pain, embarrassment, or anger?
Nothing. Nothing is gained. It's dumb. That's why YKINMK was invented; that's why people end up arguing with acronyms and with no1currs. That's the crux of my whole disagreement with the sfda-ri and Shakesville. It doesn't help to come in riding a goddamned storm of fury and call people *ist anything. It makes one look like an asshole, and then it is reasonable to treat one like an asshole.
Re: 2/2
That experience of yours is pretty fucking surreal, and the person who said that to you is pretty dumb. If you think something should be warned about, warn about it.
In my own experience, and in my own spaces/fandoms, people have exhibited pretty good common sense. And if you aren't warning for something like, say, rape, or child abuse, or other common triggers, that is asshole behavior. Warning for eating disorders is also pretty necessary. Warning about racism seems similar, although if the historical AU is the Civil War or colonial America then maybe someone should expect it.
Warning for character death...that depends.
No, there is no consistent rule, and I'm not saying that people have no right to get upset when something blindsides them or that they can't fucking care all they want in their own spaces. But...I mean, what the fuck is gained by turning around and making secrets like this, where there's value judgment all over the place and people using the excuse of pain that might or might not be real (this being the Internet, and people being able to pretend behind a shield of anonymity that they are absolutely any form of human in existence) as an excuse to cause other people pain, embarrassment, or anger?
Nothing. Nothing is gained. It's dumb. That's why YKINMK was invented; that's why people end up arguing with acronyms and with no1currs. That's the crux of my whole disagreement with the sfda-ri and Shakesville. It doesn't help to come in riding a goddamned storm of fury and call people *ist anything. It makes one look like an asshole, and then it is reasonable to treat one like an asshole.