fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1595 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1595 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 07 pages, 170 secrets from Secret Submission Post #228.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It doesn't have to be anything specific: it could be just thinking and/or expressing that actor X is hot. People react differently if it's a guy doing that. Even in liberal circles, it's still not as much of a non-issue as a girl doing the same, because girls are expected to find men attractive.

I have a lot of internalized homophobia. Sometimes I project it on others and imagine they see me the same way. :/

Well that's a bummer. I say try not to worry about reactions from people, though I know that's pretty near impossible. On the other hand, if you never put yourself out there you won't really know who you can relax with.

I also think it depends on what you're fanning over. I know a lot of guys in my fandoms (usually not on lj!) so I sort of expect pervy things.

Also, if we can both agree that Adam Scott and David Tennant are damn fine actors I think we can be really good friends :) *and even if not!* *I have a much longer list of actors also!*

As long as it's just mildly sexual, objectifying stuff like 'damn Actor X is hot. I want to lick his ears' and not really outrageously stuff like fantasising about raping the actor or tying him up in a padlocked box with a tiny hole in it to put your penis into once a day until he starves to death, I don't think that's creepy.

The reason a lot of male-fangirling (particularly of female characters) is so terrifying is because 1) it tends to be approached as something that they're entitled to, 2) it tends to be very physical and all about specific fantasies, 3) there is also this culture of 'but Y is hotter!' hotfighting that I don't see amongst female fangirls. When a female fangirl finds an actor unappealing they just say so, but male fangirls tend to do dumb things like 'which actor is the hottest' or 'order the girls in this fandom from hottest to least hot' and it's all about quantifying hotness and making it currency.

Basically, keep out of describing incredibly detailed and/or rapey fantasies unless you're talking to someone you know is comfortable with it, don't feel entitled to fanservice and don't attempt to quanitify hotness and you'll be fine. I am pretty sure you are doing all this anyway.

Also, some of the creepiest fangirling I have known in fandom has been from women, and some of the least creepy fangirling I have known has come from men.

[ SECRET POST #1595 ]

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