[SECRET POST #1611]

[fscom.livejournal.com]

⌈ Secret Post #1611 ⌋



Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.



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Notes: technophile had to work late today!


Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 062 secrets from Secret Submission Post #230.

Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ].

Current Secret Submissions Post: here.

Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Why do you feel this way?

I want to dismiss you as weeaboo, but maybe if you explained why?

[(Anonymous)]

Not OP, but I actually feel this way sometimes. And it has nothing to do with anime or manga, and more with the way I act around people. I know English and English-speaking countries have certain social customs, but in Japan they seem a lot more pronounced. I have bad social anxiety, and the fact that these customs are so heavily in place seems like it would take off some worry in social situations.

I mean, I definitely don't want to live in Japan for a number of reasons, but sometimes I'll be watching a movie or an anime, and the conformity aspect of their culture is comforting as a fantasy. I know if I actually lived there, I'd be more miserable than I am, so when the topic of Japan comes up I know it's different and I'd never mention it. But as a fantasy, it's nice.

[(Anonymous)]

I understand that. I'm the same way, and the idea of a rigid and universally recognized set of social customs, even just in terms of the language, is very appealing. Oftentimes I struggle with finding the right response to things, so a culture that has generic appropriate responses for a number of situations sounds like a relief.

OP (copy pasta from below)

[(Anonymous)]

I should have probably clarified that I'm a yonsei (4th generation Japanese). I've always felt a bit of disconnection about my cultural identity because I didn't grow up in Japan, but I do look Japanese. I know I wouldn't be accepted there because I'd be seen worse than a foreigner, like a traitor, so it makes me wonder if I had grown up there if I'd feel less lost.

I like who I am, but there will always be a part of me that feels a little out of place.

Re: OP (copy pasta from below)

[(Anonymous)]

I'm also afraid of visiting there because of the stigma placed on 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc generation Japanese.

Re: OP (copy pasta from below)

[(Anonymous)]

OP, I think all of us are a little lost, and hope that there's a special place where we will finally fit in and everything will sort of click into place. But the truth is, that place doesn't exist. I hope you don't idealize Japan too much, because I strongly suspect that Japanese kids are just as confused about what we're doing as the rest of us.

Your secret reminds me of the experience my high school best friend had. Although we grew up in a large and diverse metropolitan area, our own town was pretty small and mostly white. She was only one of a few Asian people in our high school, and as an immigrant herself (she was eight when her family immigrated to the US from China) often felt like she didn't fit in. Her childhood memories were of another country, and although you wouldn't know it unless she told you, English wasn't her first language. She was really really excited to go to (large, prominent) university where the largest ethnic group is Asian-American. She was sure that finally, she would find some people she fit in with, who understood her, and where she wouldn't be so confused about her cultural background. We had long talks about it.

I think it took all of one semester for her fantasy to crash and burn. She came home for winter break declaring that she was no longer Chinese, but Chinese-born American, and all the Chinese people at school could kiss her ass.

Re: OP (copy pasta from below)

[ariseishirou.livejournal.com]

A friend of mine had a very similar experience to yours. She was adopted by white Canadian parents, but always felt out of place and dreamed of connecting more with other Asian students. Then went my university, which has an enormous Asian-Canadian population, only to discover that her values were much more in line with traditional European ones and wound up hanging out with the white kids anyway.

Re: OP (copy pasta from below)

[(Anonymous)]

Hi, I'm a hafu (mixed ethnicity with Japanese component). I expected more of that too but I didn't get it when I was there. Maybe I was just lucky, I don't know. I think some of that has to have changed at least in the cities because old stories made it sound like it'd be horrible but it wasn't. Sometimes people would assume I didn't speak Japanese and would speculate about my ancestry in front of me but I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't ever with mean intent. I was not accepted as Japanese but I wasn't a traitor or something like that either. But maybe I just was lucky. That's my experience, anyway.