[ SECRET POST #1654 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1654 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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TRIGGER WARNING FOR SUICIDE

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TRIGGER WARNING FOR ABUSE, RAPE, INCEST

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[David Tennant & Catherine Tate]


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[The Roommate]


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[The Nine Lives Of Chloe King]







Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 46 secrets from Secret Submission Post #236.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 5 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 1 - take it to comments ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[herongale]

Yeah. I couldn't agree more.

I think people honestly forget that a lot of times, what you can do or say is limited by the extent (or non-extent, as the case might be) of your existing relationship to the person who ended up committing suicide. Even if you're close, sometimes particularly if you're close, it can be hard to know the right thing to say when someone is suffering and contemplating suicide, especially if you've never dealt with that before.

And jeez, people. SUICIDAL PEOPLE ALREADY KNOW ABOUT THE THEORETICAL EXISTENCE OF SUICIDE HOTLINES. A hotline usually isn't what suicidal people want or need anyway. When they go to a friend, they want what the friend might say, dorky fannish advice at all. At least in that case, it's personal. It just sometimes still isn't enough.

And so I have a lot of snugs for you, azelmaroark. It's an intimidating situation to be in and knowing how to deal with it isn't obvious or easy IN THE ACTUAL FUCKING MOMENT. Thank you for speaking out here, because what you said is something a lot of people need to hear, I think.

[(Anonymous)]

This. When I was 14 my best friend was suicidal. He tried to tell me, but I brushed it off. I knew of the existence of the suicide hotline, but when faced with the actual thought of my best friend committing suicide I came across as callous and uncaring. I didn't mean to, but I was young and didn't know what to do in that situation. I was scared of losing my best friend, so I thought maybe if I downplayed it, so would he. It was a horrible way to react. But I didn't know what to do.

Thankfully he never went through with committing suicide. And five years later he's a lot better now. But I still feel guilty for not knowing how to respond appropriately. It's easy to say "oh, just call the suicide hotline or the hospital and everything will be a-ok," but it's a hard thing to face when you're actually put in that situation.

[arguingvitality.livejournal.com]

Same, when I was fourteen or fifteen my Dad tried to kill himself and I freaked out so much I refused to talk to him for three years because in my selfish-pubescent head if I cut him out it wouldn't hurt so much if he tried again and managed it.

But sometimes experience teaches you a lot more than just knowing what the right thing to do is: So hen I had a close friend commit suicide a few years back I realised that having my Dad in my life and losing him (and being able to be there for him when he was going through stuff) was better than pretending he didn't exist.

He died two weeks ago thanks to his alcoholism and I don't think I'll ever stop begrudging those lost years, but like I said, experience teaches you a lot.

[sessile29.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[(Anonymous)]

Way to generalise about hotlines and suicidal people, when I was in my young teens and was entertaining ideas of being more careless on the road to end it all I actually didn't even have a clue about hotlines at all. I was incredibly naive in that area. Plu of course when your head is messed around anyway you don't always jump to that idea you know? Sometimes it does have to be spelled out for you.

Plus at that age my friends would have not been able to handle it at all (and given the age I wouldn't blame them for that and since I'm thinking OP is just a kid too I can understand why her response was pretty fucking idiotic and hell just in general it's a difficult thing to know what to say to right?) Heck since some of my friends were still christians like me at the time (though not as hung up on the hell thing), the stuff I'd have been saying I was obsessing over would have possibly gotten a heated, angry response they didn't think too hard on which would have really pushed me over the edge sop perhaps it's just as well I never told them. I hinted sometimes enough to know there was no support there and I'd be alone if I said it which was the last thing I wanted. My parents would have possibly done something.... or tried to use 'jesus' to fix everything if in a less harsh cruel way- when in fact religion was why I wanted to end it all to begin with.

It was no-ones fault really, it just happened- of course with suicide being a sin to begin with I was stuck in a weird limbo at the time of wanting to die because the waiting was bad enough (plus I didn't want to damn myself to hell as I got older) and praying to god that if I was okay for heaven to just kill me NOW to realising the suicide would send me to that place.

In the end the people I know just simply would not have the tools or way to make me feel better. Maybe temproarily? Yes with the random stupid stuff, but without hearing of others who finally broke free of christianity and got better and breaking free myself it wouldn't have been enough. In fact people would rather I die than not be a christian out there- understandable really as the whole hell thing is not far from some other peoples minds either- I can understand why people would want to convert me back still, but I can't go back. I never can.

In many cases loved ones can make it worse without realising it- I also felt like I was brining everyone else down and so while some morning may result they'd eventually get over it and be better in the long term- especially if I damned them all to hell, which was my number one fear at the time.

A hotline with the appropriate stranger? It may have helped a bit more. But I just didn't know of them at the time. Seriously. And I'm just in my early 20s and this was over a considerable period of time (pretty much most of my teen years).

[(Anonymous)]

Stupid dyslexia... -grumbles-