case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2011-08-20 04:00 pm

[ SECRET POST #1691 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1691 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 13 pages, 314 secrets from Secret Submission Post #242.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

[identity profile] silver-sandals.livejournal.com 2011-08-21 08:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, when I was fifteen I was desperately telling myself that I was just lazy and I needed to try harder, because if I had ADHD then I was a freak and there was something wrong with me. Same with my depression & anxiety. Kids are more likely to have these beliefs than adults, I think. Fifteen-year-olds in particular are desperate to conform.

People who tell us to just 'snap out of it', are ignorant and ableist. They're not being cruel on purpose, but we have a right to get upset about it. Unfortunately, f_s is not the world and people say these kinds of things to me all the time.

I'm not passing judgment on the parents, just saying the kids have the right to be upset and wish they'd gotten help when they needed it.

You seem to have a chip on your shoulder. I don't know your story and I'm sorry if I or the OP offended you.

(Anonymous) 2011-08-21 09:29 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, yeah, I'm not gonna lie. I get kind of angry at people who complain about people not trying hard enough to help. For two main reasons;

- I, and many of my close friends, would have done anything to have someone reach out and would never have turned away help. Hearing that someone got it handed to them on a silver platter and they turned it away pisses me off. They're old enough to know that if they want help they need to accept it from people offering.

- Secondly because I've been the person desperately trying to help someone who refused to get help. He was 15 and so was I and he hurt me so fucking bad. When he tried to kill himself he blamed me for not trying hard enough to help even when he resisted and hurt me. That's bullshit. 15 is old enough to do something. It's old enough to accept help that's being offered.

So, yeah, people are humans. So are parents. So are boy/girlfriends etc. They can only do so much. If you refuse the help that is offered to you, I think it's stupid to blame the person who offered help. It's not nice to tell someone to get over it, but if they refused to admit they had a problem/illness and they still acted whiny/emo I would have told them to get over it too.

[identity profile] silver-sandals.livejournal.com 2011-08-21 10:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Here's the thing: nobody is blaming people who offer help. If we're blaming anyone, it's society in general and the lack of information and ignorance that surrounds mental illness to this day.

I'm sorry about what happened to you, that's terrible. Of course it wasn't your responsibility. The relationship between two fifteen-year-olds is a lot different between a fifteen-year-old and their adult parent. The parent does have a responsibility to make certain their child gets help, same as with any other medical problem.

If a teenager refused to admit they had, say, a heart condition because they didn't want to quit their sports team, could their parent just ignore that too?

If you had no difficulty admitting you had a problem, that's wonderful for you. I did have a great deal of difficulty, and it wasn't because I was being "whiny". You're being pretty dismissive.