fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1718 ]

[ SECRET POST #1718 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1718 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[FF7]

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06.

[Home Improvement]

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[Thor]

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08.

[The Borrower Arrietty]

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09.

[Eerie Indiana]

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[SPN]

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11.

[The Secret Garden]

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[Alex Rider]

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[Muppets]

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[Air Bud]

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[Beauty and the Beast TV series]

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31.

[poupeegirl]

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32.

[Cybersix, Ouran High School Host Club, Cowboy Bebop, Mulan, Alanna, Monstrous Regiment, Pitch Black, Leviathan, Hourou Musuko]

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33.

[America's Next Top Model - Cycle 11]

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[high school of the dead]

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40.

[Rescue Special Ops]

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[Friends with Benefits]

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[Merlin]

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43.

[Absolutely Fabulous]

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

44. [SPOILERS for Banana Fish]

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45. [SPOILERS for Breaking Bad]

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46. [SPOILERS for SPN]

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47. [SPOILERS for Homestuck]

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48. [SPOILERS for Bleach]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

49. [TRIGGER WARNING for depression, suicide]

[Up]

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50. [TRIGGER WARNING for eating disorders]

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51. [TRIGGER WARNING for violence, bullying]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #245.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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20. http://i53.tinypic.com/1zq4g39.png

if you'd rather lie to someone and start a fight than share a hobby--even an embarrassing hobby--I kinda wonder how close you actually are to them.

I feel like maybe you either have some relationship issues or some personal issues you really need to sort through. Maybe both.

I can understand you're protective of you're writing. y bf isn't allowed anywhere near my stuff. It's easier, as we have separate computers. But, I'd just have said: "I'm writing something, it's a work in progress, I don't feel comfortable sharing yet."

A fight is really not worth it.

I don't mean to be rude, but that's really kind of ridiculous. You really could've just said it was a piece of fiction you were working on. No need to specify. Quite frankly I'd be a million times more embarrassed letting someone believe it was an "angry letter" I was writing them. I'm sorry, but who does that? It sounds like your relationship--and possibly your confrontation skills--need some work.

I don't think I've ever had such a strong "WHY couldn't you lie better than THAT?" reaction to a RL situation rather than something on a sitcom. But uh, I've told some bizarre lies before so I can understand.

Obviously I can't assume anything about your relationship from this, but I wonder if you and your partner should work out why she thought from the get-go that it was an angry letter to her.

Brb. Thinking of a good safe lie in case this ever happens to me.

Uh... that wasn't very smart.

I hope you took her out for dinner and bought her a dozen roses/whatever else she may like better as an apology.

Althogh explaining the truth now would probably just make everything worse.

I delete stuff after I write it. I close art I've done on the computer without saving it. The stuff I do save I have hidden under weird names in different folders. I've gone through periods where I will refuse to do any writing on a computer that's connected to the internet, because of the overwhelming, irrational fear that someone, somewhere, is reading what I'm writing and connecting it to me. When I used to write or draw on paper, I'd tear stuff up, then cover it with ink and water until it was unrecognizable. I love writing fanfic, but the idea of finishing it and posting it where anyone can read it makes me break out into a cold sweat. There have been times when getting into a fight with a loved one would have seemed like a swell way to get out of them seeing something I'd written. The only reason I'm getting anything done now is that my better half and I finally have computer desks that are back to back.

If you haven't, I recommend trying to talk to a therapist about this--blah blah standard advice BUT WAIT--because I have severe social phobia and I do shit like this all the time, but getting help for it has made it less like, "OH SNAP I MUST DO SOMETHING IRRATIONAL QUICK BEFORE SOMEONE JUDGES ME" constantly. It's normal to be embarrassed about people possibly reading works-in-progress, but it's not normal to go to such huge lengths to avoid being discovered, get yourself in trouble over it, or possibly damage your relationship with someone you care about because of it. That's avoidance to the point of it impacting your quality of life severely. So if this isn't a one-time thing (from the bit about changing extensions whenever you leave I assume it's not), please take a look at the rest of your life and if you see a pattern of this kind of behavior in other things too, even if it's milder, get help. You can at least learn coping skills for those moments when shit goes down and you don't know what to do.

Best of luck, OP.

You sound like a really awful partner, tbh. You'd rather have your significant other believe you are writing her angry letters than writing fanfic? Really? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Lots of tl;dr here but what it boils down to is: if you'd rather have a fight with someone than share a hobby, break up with them already. Sheesh.

Not good. You two obviously don't have any trust for each other, you don't trust her to support your hobbies without judgement, she doesn't trust you not to be secretly hating her, and right there that's pretty much the last gasp of a relationship.

If you want to preserve what you have with her you need to be able to open up about your hobbies and things you like and are important to you. She needs to be able to feel like you aren't harboring resentments of her. And honestly, I think you are harboring resentments. You don't think she will love and support you, that's a big resentment maker right there.

Sometimes it's the stupid things that shed light on the big ones. This is major. Don't blow it off.

Ummm, so you played along that it was a letter containing your angry writey rage, so your partner now thinks that something about them bothers you so much you have to actually write it down to be able to express just how much it pisses you off? And you're just going to let them go on thinking that, rather than admitting you were writing a story (they didn't need to know it was specifically fanfic, after all)? So basically, you'd rather your partner feel miserable and insecure about what they mean to you than admit you wrote a story? I'm sure you panicked and there was no malicious thought there but OP, you need to come clean about this. If you care about your partner at all, you won't leave them feeling they've done something wrong with no idea what it is. Because I hate to be dramatic here, but that really is the sort of thing that leads to a relationship breaking down. It's like punching your partner in the emotions and it'll wear down the trust between you.

I don't know why, but this is fucking hilarious to me. Don't worry about what some of the other commenters are saying about what a horrible partner you are - fuck 'em, who gives a shit, it's the fucking internet. Look, stupid shit just blows up in your face sometimes. That's all. Every single person on this thread has a story about doing something pretty innocent and just having it blow up in their faces because they didn't want to fess up to something they thought was embarrassing. EVERYONE does that once in a while. You're not a horrible person or a horrible partner. It's being human. Just laugh about it, shake your head, think to yourself, "All right, that was sort of lame," and move on.

Yeah it seems like a lot of jumping to conclusions. My partner and I have a great relationship and there's a lot of trust there. But even still, sometimes I still get embarrassed about what I'm doing on the Livejournal or a story I'm writing, and often I fumble for some kind of lame excuse when asked what I'm doing. Probably not to the extent of lying most of the time but I just feel really irrationally ashamed and don't want to admit what it is.

I hide all my fanfic from my husband. He knows I do fandomy stuff like discussion boards and meetups, and he has some vague idea that I might read fic, but I have purposefully avoided mentioning that I write it and he doesn't know my online aliases that I use to post fic. I am not required to share every facet of my personal/internal life with my spouse. He would react just fine if I told him, I just don't care to share my sometimes pornographic writing about fictitious people with my spouse. Likewise he certainly doesn't go out of his way to show me his porn, and that's fine.

It's entirely normal to maintain some internal privacy about things that aren't hurtful, i.e. mildly embarrassing fanfic. We have a great relationship, regardless of the fact that we enjoy our literal or emotional porn separately. I presume everyone who thinks this is such an awful, terrible thing is either not married, or maintains some other sort of personal space besides fandom.

Chrissy Snow, is that you?

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[ SECRET POST #1718 ]

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