[ SECRET POST #1724 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1724 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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[Legacy of Kain]


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[SGA]


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[Criminal Minds]


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[MLP]


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[The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes]


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[cucumber quest]


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(Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell/Final Fantasy VII)


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[Battlefield]


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[LittleBigPlanet]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 040 secrets from Secret Submission Post #246.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

>"fueled by insecurity"

Nope, sorry. That's not how most bullying works or happens. In fact, most bullies bully because they have abnormally high self-esteem rather than the opposite, and either they feel their power is threatened or they view their high self-esteem as something that gives them a "right" to power-trip. Another big factor in bullying is just simple pleasure: even though the bully in question is neither "jealous" or "insecure," they'd get the same amount of basic human enjoyment out of bullying that we would out of, say, eating a bowl of ice cream.

I know we hate to think of them this way, but most bullies, childhood or not, are otherwise pretty functional, well-adjusted people. Insecurity is very rarely a factor in bullying.

[mjnuts.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, but who are you to say this?

While I do agree that many bullies have perfectly normal self-esteem, they're obviously not well-adjusted people. I was a bully in primary school, but I pretty much had no idea that I was being mean and cruel to people.

As soon as I grew up to better understand the layers of right and wrong and the ways in which people can hurt other people, I stopped. I'm VERY sure that a kid as young as 12 is able to make this distinction.

So obviously, if you still take enjoyment out of humilliating others when you're in high school, you need a reality check. Better yet, you need a humanity check.

Also, having insecurities =/= having low self-esteem.

[fm-gatekeeper.livejournal.com]

I disagree, but I kind of love you for saying this anyway.

Many of the kids I knew at a young age who were bullies, I later found out were overcompensating for various insecurities (obvious and subtle), and I think that is probably the most prevalent cause of bullying even if it's not always obvious. However, I'm not saying they're ALL that way, and I hate it when people act like all bullies are just ~insecure~ like that somehow excuses the behavior. It doesn't. At all. And I've also known a lot of bullies who were exactly like you just said (they're generally the older chunk of the bullying population, in my experience--it's mostly college-aged and adult bullies I've met who are like that). So, yeah. Pretty much disgusting behavior all around.

[(Anonymous)]

Insecurity is very rarely a factor in bullying.

lol are you kidding. 95% of people who make other people feel bad are insecure about themselves. no one well adjusted would feel the need to make people feel bad.

[(Anonymous)]

I was an elementary school bully with a great home life. I had awesome parents, plenty of money, tons of friends, good grades, etc. I was a secure, happy kid. I picked on the fat kids because they were gross to me - I was not jealous, insecure, etc. I think the "oh the bully must be unhappy" was created to make the person picked on feel better, not because it's actually true.

[ariseishirou.livejournal.com]

Er.... from the scientific source-cited Wiki entry:

Further studies have shown that envy and resentment may be motives for bullying.[35] Research on the self-esteem of bullies has produced equivocal results.[36][37] While some bullies are arrogant and narcissistic,[38] others can use bullying as a tool to conceal shame or anxiety or to boost self esteem: by demeaning others, the abuser him/herself feels empowered.[39]

So where exactly are you getting your statistics from? Particularly the '95%' one? From the research, it's more like 50/50.

[(Anonymous)]

it's more like 100%/0%. Narcissism is not well-adjusted or healthy.

Consistent bullying is not healthy behavior. Like, by definition 0% of bullies are healthy and well-adjusted.

[(Anonymous)]

Do you actually have sources for this or did you just hear it from someone in your intro psych class?

[copper-dimes.livejournal.com]

Citation?

[baka-deshi.livejournal.com]

I've seen bullying that was fueled by insecurity -- usually in nerd spaces (like fandom) where the bullies were people who were afraid someone else was going to come along and steal THEIR unexpected BNF crown. It happens, and it sucks.

[(Anonymous)]

You're protesting too much.

[(Anonymous)]

lol what

[(Anonymous)]

I see we've met the same bullies, anon.

[allybally12345.livejournal.com]

Marge: Gosh, I thought he'd be happier in his true habitat.
Warden: Oh, I think he is.
Marge: Then why is he attacking all those other elephants?
Warden: Well, animals are not like people, Mrs. Simpson. Some of them act badly because they've had a hard life, or have been mistreated...but, like people, some of them are just...jerks."



So basically, I agree. I hate the "bullies are just insecure" (or even worse: "bullies are jealous of you") crap, because it ignores many other factors as to what makes a bully a bully. Some people are just jerks. They aren't insecure, or jealous, or suffering a bad home life, or abused, etc. Lumping all bullies into one great, big pile of "insecure people" or "abused people" simplifies bullying, and turns the bullies into a victim as well. Sometimes they're just...dicks.