[ SECRET POST #1757 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1757 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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34. [TRIGGER WARNING for child abuse/rape]



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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 119 secrets from Secret Submission Post #.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 2 - not!secrets ], [ 1 2 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

25. http://i55.tinypic.com/28ica2o.png

[piepeloe.livejournal.com]

I often have the same problem. I want to say something that will add to the discussion, or a brilliant argument, or just an observation or a joke. But then I worry so much about what other people will see in it, and I rewrite it again and again until I just give up.

But sometimes I remember that there are a lot of people who probably don't think twice about what they're writing, or are actually trying to offend people, so maybe it might not be that bad.

[(Anonymous)]

Anonmemes saved me from this. I'm still selfconscious, but now if I fuck up I can pretty much run away and no one can connect it to the sane, sensible things I might be posting two pages over. Freeeeedom! :D

[damnated.livejournal.com]

Can I join the club OP?

I am *exactly* the same, I never know how to put my thoughts down into words and end up rewriting my comments plenty of times before I decide to post them or -- and this happens more often, actually -- just give up and go do something else.

[smartie56.livejournal.com]

Reading back what we're writing can be like listening to a recording of our singing. We find it excruciatingly bad, but others don't have a clue why until they try it themselves.
It'd be good to have some kind of mind-reading gadget to word our thoughts as we intend them to look like on paper (or screen). Or at least a healthy dose of "I don't give a shit".

[damnated.livejournal.com]

As an ESL speaker/writer, I figure this is even worse for me, because I really can't get over being stupidly self conscious about what I type in English, despite me being a lot more relaxed when it comes to writing my my native language. :P

And yes, I'd love such a device, it would save me so much time and pain. (Maybe the Doctor has something like that) ;).

(re-posted because of a grammar error. I keep confusing worst/worse).

[saiika-von-maou.livejournal.com]

I hear you. Having only text to work with is a pain in the ass to me, too. No one can hear my tone of voice or see my expressions, so they pretty much have to figure out for themselves how I meant something. It's frustrating when I don't feel like I'm being understood. On some level, you have to let it go; accept that sometimes things are going to get lost in translation, and that there's not much you can do about it except try to re-explain. The people that jump down your throat about it were probably never willing to listen to you to begin with. That's their problem. People like you and me are going to backspace more than we type in the end, but let's not stress ourselves out over how people will interpret what we say, yeah?

[zoey-says.livejournal.com]

I use emoticons to try and convey my tone and voice, but when the person on the other end doesn't know the meaning of it then it's pointless. -_-;; I was a lot worse when I was a teen. I used them at the end of practically every sentence just so whoever I was talking to knew when I was joking. I still use them often though for these reasons alone.

[saiika-von-maou.livejournal.com]

I do use emoticons sometimes. In fact, it's occurred to me to use them more lately; but in the past, I had my tone set so well in my mind that I hardly ever thought to use any. I'm still learning new ones. I can barely keep up! Haha.

[raichu100.livejournal.com]

oh but you know

communication doesn't really involve two people, it's 100% the responsibility of the speaker because they can read the reader's mind and make sure they know where he/she is coming from and how they will interpret something etc

/sarcasm

srsly though, you voiced well something that's been bothering me for some time. Communication is a two-way street and it just pisses me off when a speaker, who had no malice behind their words, gets torn apart for putting their foot in their mouth or making a mistake (or sometimes just having bad English)

[saiika-von-maou.livejournal.com]

Oh, of course, you're absolutely right. Because if you're not a mind reader, then you shouldn't even be trying to converse. I had nearly forgotten. Lol.

It happens all too often on the internet, sadly...well, it happens a lot on here. Post a secret; you might as well be introducing yourself to a lion wearing Lady Gaga's meat dress. Frustrating, no? Guess all we can do is try to be understanding.

[spacemutineer.livejournal.com]

Yup, you're not alone in this one. I couldn't tell you how many comments I have composed, considered, reworded and/or deleted. (including this one!)

[sullen-strange.livejournal.com]

I know exactly how you feel, OP. It used to be that I couldn't contribute at all, I was so terrified, but even now my participation in fandom is limited because of my fear of being judged. I even get sweaty palms when I write something! You just need to realize one thing: No one really cares about what you write on the internet. Someone will probably read your comments, and you might even piss someone off, but 24 hours later? They won't even remember, much less care.

[zoey-says.livejournal.com]

I can sympathize.

Ironically, I did type out more, but I deleted it because there's not much else I can/want to say on the matter. XD

[365reasonswhy.livejournal.com]

I do this too. But not because I'm necessarily worried about offending, but more because I tend to find myself in fandoms that have deep divides over one or two specific issues or ships and it's hard to know where you fit in when you either, don't care all that much to participate in any all out wars over it, or care but still just don't want to fight over it, sometimes it makes the idea of commenting seem tiring or just pointless.

[oflittlebrain.livejournal.com]

this is why you should just say "fuck it" and type whatever you want. i guarantee that if you're not actually an asshole people won't freak out, you just might have to clarify some things sometimes

[raichu100.livejournal.com]

"i guarantee that if you're not actually an asshole people won't freak out, you just might have to clarify some things sometimes"

This really isn't true though. Maybe it's worked for you but I've said things that weren't intended to attack or even insult people and been called some disgusting names.

In a perfect world, we could all be ourselves...

[twenty-rooks.livejournal.com]

It's what happens when communication is done entirely in text; you have to learn to be very precise, otherwise it's easy to be misunderstood. People have different experiences and will interpret things in a way that makes sense from their point of view if something is unclear.

Just make sure that the text you write is exactly what you want to say. Don't say "all" when you mean "some", don't say "X fandom" when you mean "crazy fringe element in that specific comm in x fandom". Don't confuse H/Hr shippers with Harmonians. And so on. XD

[raichu100.livejournal.com]

...and in turn, those reading should be sure to not assume only one of all possible meanings of a word, phrase, etc

it's not 100% the responsibility of the writer to agonize and make it perfect especially if they don't really know the people reading their comments very well

(I certainly do agree that you should be careful.)

[raichu100.livejournal.com]

I really don't blame you, OP. The dogpiling is a huge problem.

For me, if I decide that what I want to say might have even the slightest possibility of being construed in a way that would cause a ton of wank, I often just move on - which sucks because I might want to be part of a discussion, share my thoughts, learn about other POVs, etc but if I say something even a teensy bit wrong (no matter how hard I try) it creates a shitstorm and everyone gets all judgmental and conceited and it just sucks. Sometimes it's like walking on eggshells.

[bride-of-lister.livejournal.com]

Are you me anon? It sometimes feels like a spelling bee rather than posting on the internet.

[(Anonymous)]

Omg you spelled x wrong, so that must mean you're stupid and therefore your opinion is null and void! Yes, I hate this. I have terrible spelling and you don't want to know how many times I use the spell check feature. My brain also thinks faster than my hands can type, so I've been known to accidentally skip over words I thought I included, but actually hadn't typed out.

*solidarity fistbump*

[nyxelestia.livejournal.com]

It is terrifying, OP, especially once you do post and get ripped to shreds over something which you seriously did not notice or doesn't even make sense to you, and more often than not people don't explain what's wrong as much as just ream you out over it.

I'd say just forge ahead boldly. Most of the time posting isn't too bad, it's rarely complicated to make amends if you do misword something, and most of the nice people worth interacting with are quick to forgive and are understanding about this situation - after all, we all know this is text-only interaction, whereas less than a fifth of human interaction is language when face to face. Go forth and fansquee, OP!

[micromyni.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain. T-T Most of the people on Fandomsecrets have been dogpiled at one time or another.

[allstarzs.livejournal.com]

I have been making secrets in my sleep again.