fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #1771 ]

⌈ Secret Post #1771 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 07 pages, 157 secrets from Secret Submission Post #253.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 1 2 3 4 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There is a difference between unhealthy relationships that are portrayed exactly as they are and unhealthy relationships that are portrayed as healthy. Something like stealing, people know is wrong. With relationships, though, particularly in terms of Twilight, there are a lot of teenagers out there who think the things portrayed in Twilight are romantic and healthy. And the author agrees and says as much in interviews. Edward is a classic controlling boyfriend who does things that real life abusers do. Jacob doesn't take no for an answer, which is also something that happens in real life. And Bella has no motivation whatsoever outside of being with her man.

If the author acknowledged that what she is portraying isn't the way relationships should be in real life, I wouldn't be so bothered. But Meyers honestly believes that the stuff she writes is healthy. And that is scary.

I'm pretty sure that someone who was being genuinely stalked and abused would be able to tell that their relationship isn't as happy as Twilight. But fiction doesn't have to be realistic.

There are hundreds of books and resources that outline what bad relationships are and how to deal with them. People are allowed to enjoy fantasies. Even unrealistic ones. They are allowed to love their kinks, and Twilight hooks into a very common set.

The problem is that people who have experienced bad relationships will most likely seek out the books and resources you mentioned AFTER the bad relationship (assuming that they manage to wake up and realize that it was a bad relationship; some people get stuck in a circle of one disastrous relationship after the other and refuse to break out even when they have the nagging feeling that something isn't right).

Most of Twilight's fans are relatively young girls who likely are just starting to have more serious relationships, and they are still in at the age when they take most of their cues from their peers and the media.

This comment actually kind of reminds me of my coworker telling me that there are demons in the Harry Potter books.

Do you live under a fucking rock? Are you really "pretty sure" someone who is being genuinely abused would be able to tell that their relationship isn't as happy? You've obviously never been stalked and/or abused or known many people who have because honey, abuse does shitty things to people. The amount of people who stay in abusive relationships and don't think they are being abused even when their significant others are controlling them mentally, emotionally and physically to the point where their friends and family have to step in and call the cops is astounding. You are incredibly naive and delusional if you're going to paint all abuse victims like that.

And you are blaming Twilight for this?

No, I am blaming Twilight for promoting unhealthy relationships to vulnerable young girls who now think a guy climbing in their window to watch them sleep and all sorts of other creepy, controlling and abusive (http://www.fanpop.com/spots/critical-analysis-of-twilight/articles/21294/title/ways-edward-cullen-abusive) things are okay so long as he is pretty.

Oh, those ~vulnerable young girls~. However will they know what to do with themselves if fiction doesn't dictate it for them?

Do you get this het up about boys reading military sci-fi?

Some girls are that susceptible. In particular the ones who have grown up in an environment where abusive relationships are the norm, and then turn and look at a popular book like Twilight and go "oh, well, THIS is very similar to my parents/uncles/neighbors' relationship" and see nothing wrong.

"In particular the ones who have grown up in an environment where abusive relationships are the norm,.."

Yeah, I think that would play more into it then a book would. js

But I never said it wouldn't. o_o

I wasn't applying that you didn't say it, just that the environment of said abuse victim would play more of a factor than a book would.

Nope. And if some kid shoots another kid in the face, and they watched old Elmer Fudd cartoons, you know what's to blame.

For real, I sometimes see Twilight as being help up as a book with role models, that it has a wait till marriage message. Confront that nonsense when it comes up, but most readers aren't going to be seriously influenced by diamond encrusted vampires that look like fashion models. With shirtless werewolves on the side.

...then shouldn't we be more worried about that environment than a fantasy book?

Removing "unsafe" or objectionable elements of fantasy isn't going to make an abused girl's life any better; it won't even necessarily help her break an abuse cycle. What it is going to do is give other girls the impression that they can't make their own decisions or navigate their own lives, that they have to have their hands held the whole way.

I find it amusing that everyone runs about with the claim that teenagers don't know that Bella and Edward's relationship was unhealthy. Dude, every fucking comment section, forum, message board or conversations bring up that point. It's been beat to death in their heads and by this time it is by no way promoted as a model romance.

[ SECRET POST #1771 ]

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