[ SECRET POST #1798 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1798 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 08 pages, 196 secrets from Secret Submission Post #257.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

I have to say, my daughter was raised to be kind to others and never heard any negativity about body size from my husband, myself, or my mother (the only people who cared for her), yet in the middle of Disney World she stood up, pointed to a woman in line ahead of us, and clearly announced "THAT WOMAN IS FAT." She didn't know it was offensive - she was making an observation, just as she announced that another woman was wearing blue sandals and that a little boy was holding a Bambi doll.

Kids notice these things with no coaching.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

noticing =/= saying fat people are gross

(frozen comment)

[curseangel.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I get that. And you know, there's a metric fuckton of societal prejudice against fat people and fatphobia in our culture and society that teaches children to hate/demean/etc. fat people even if their parents do their absolute best to teach them not to hate people based on body size or behave in a way that's fatphobic. Fatphobia is endorsed in our schools, ffs. It's hard to beat, and a lot of times the best you can do is just tell the kid that [x] thing they said is wrong and why.

And then of course, you have kids like yours who just don't know what they're saying is offensive. I think most people get that, like, I can only speak for myself, but if some kid went "THAT LADY IS FAT" I'd probably feel really bad, but objectively I'd understand that they weren't hating on me, they were just saying what they saw; if their parent or parents apologized to me for it I'd be more than okay with it. But my subjective reaction (feeling bad about myself) wouldn't be the kid's fault.

Of course, you know, then you have people like the anon I replied to who probably express their hatred of and disgust over fat people all the time and are incredibly body-size negative, fatphobic, etc. and who either intentionally or unintentionally teach that hate to their children... and they're the truly disgusting ones. Not the parents who can't help what society tells their children, or whose kids say things that are out of line sometimes without meaning to or knowing it's wrong, but the ones who teach hate intentionally.

(frozen comment)

[(Anonymous)]

I've been in that situation, being called fat by a small child who didn't mean anything bad by it ("That lady's belly is BIG!"), and when the parents act all horrified and overly-concerned THAT is what makes me feel bad and pisses me off. My belly is big--that's an objectively true statement. When the parents turn it into a big deal, then it's awkward and starts to feel hurtful. If the kid just says it once and then moves on, I wish the parents would ignore it and maybe address it later.

(frozen comment)

[kryptoncat.livejournal.com]

I actually remember the last time I innocently called someone fat. Then I saw the look of hurt on that person's face. I never want to make someone feel that way again, and I'm glad now I was disciplined for saying that. Yes, kids are ignorant, but with guidance they can become someone amazing, respectful, and kind, which is what I one day hope to be.