Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2011-12-18 03:59 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2011-12-18 03:59 pm
[ SECRET POST #1811 ]
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 08 pages, 191 secrets from Secret Submission Post #259.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 3 4 - too big ], [ 0 - hit/ship/spiration ], [ 0 - omgiknowthem ], [ 0 - take it to comments ], [ 1 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-12-18 09:52 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-12-18 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)Obviously I'm not referring to situations of extreme gravitas, like losing a loved one, putting down a pet, or other extreme situations. But outside that? Like being the shoulder to cry on every time someone breaks up with their boyfriend, failed an exam, etc?
Selfish, selfish, selfish.
It's the emotional equivalent to stomping you feet in a strop, or screaming and throwing things.
Though honestly I don't see how perpetual criers do it. Last time I nearly cried in front of people a couple years back, I hated it, and I loathed myself for nearly doing so even more.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-12-18 10:21 pm (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-12-19 12:10 am (UTC)(link)Newsflash: when people see someone crying in public, they're usually bewildered and pained because they're uncomfortably aware that although the person is miserable, they can't do anything about it because they don't know who the person is or what the person is going through. NO ONE is "disgusted" by people crying in public (and if they are, they're at least aware that it's their problem, not the crier's), and NO ONE believes that people who cry in public are selfish and should loathe themselves. I don't know how you developed that reaction, but jesus christ. Either you're a total asshole, or you have some major personal psychological issues.
Or you're a troll, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-12-19 12:43 am (UTC)(link)I know.
That's sort of the whole basis of my point, as laid out in my first post.
It's akin to telling a group of strangers your deepest inner most thoughts and feelings. So far beyond intimate.
no subject
And obviously I'm not talking about serious situations like death of a loved one blah blah.
The last time I cried in public was when the asshole boss at my last job was yelling me down for being useless and stupid and shit. I hated myself for crying because YES, it IS a sign of weakness and it shows that she has power over me. I berated the hell out of myself for it, came back later and then next time she gave me shit I just smiled back at her. I felt great and it totally killed her ability to try and fuck with me - she likes making people feel like shit, and I showed her that my self-esteem is too strong for her to bring down and that she can't treat me like her other employees.
Crying over stupid shit is a weakness, period dot.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-12-19 02:27 pm (UTC)(link)I don't get bothered by people telling me I was dumb or a piece of shit. It hurts my feelings, but funny enough it doesn't trigger crying.
But I cry a lot.
I cry at sad movies, I cry at rainbows, I cry when I hear epic music. I cry when I'm extremely happy.
For example I cried a few days ago when my SO organizes a surprise party for me and all my friends were there to show me how much I meant to them.
I was overwhelmed. I cried.
When you think this makes me weak and shit then yes, you have issues. Sorry to tell you.
People can be strong and still cry like babies in certain situations. Crying may make you look "weak" when someone is trying to put you down. It gives them a feeling of being superior, that they managed to "crack" your shell.
But it's still a ncompletely natural act of stress relief and some people just can't repress it. I can't. If I try, I end up sobbing and stuttering and my throat starts to ache like mad.
Obviously you've had bad experiences with your mom, that doesn't excuse looking down on all highly emotional people. In fact, it makes you sound smug and nothing is worse than people smugly commenting on someone crying like all people who are able to repress it are so much better for having more self-control or whatever.
no subject
Selfish, selfish, selfish.
I don't know your gender, but you seem like a Nice Guy.
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(Anonymous) 2011-12-19 12:47 am (UTC)(link)Not even close.
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(Anonymous) 2011-12-19 04:35 am (UTC)(link)why would you even make this comment then? stupid. that's not a nice guy fyi. a nice guy would jump at the chance to be the shoulde to cry on cause then they have an opening to get in your pants. get your memes right othellia!
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(Anonymous) 2011-12-19 02:15 pm (UTC)(link)I tried to "control my embarrassing emotional outbursts" for years. I swallowed my tears down, I forced myself to be "strong" in public and was scared of bothering people with my crying.
You know what I got from it?
Bruxism. I started gnashing my teeth at night like crazy. Nothing could help. Relaxation techniques, night braces, nothing. I had a constant headache and sometimes even eating was painful because my jaw was under stress almost all the time.
Then I suffered a breakdown and had to seek help in therapy.
One year later I'm feeling much better. I learned that when I'm letting out my tears I can get relief from pain and grief, that crying is okay and good.
And guess what? It's human. Crying is a great invention of nature.
So kindly work out your issues.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-12-19 07:06 pm (UTC)(link)Doing better now, but having a healthier perspective on crying is such an amazing difference. Hopefully those still on the other side will be able to work through it as well.
no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-12-20 01:37 am (UTC)(link)no subject
(Anonymous) 2011-12-19 04:06 am (UTC)(link)