[ SECRET POST #1834 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1834 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 89 secrets from Secret Submission Post #262.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 4 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Women? Everyone is rude when they ignore someone unless they have that feeling that their being creeped upon. And really, is it so hard to say "Hey, sorry, I just don't feel like talking right now, I'm really into this book"? (To use that example?) I mean, really? If the other person takes offence, that's all on them, not the person being asked, but when the person asked doesn't even acknowledge that they were asked a question... That isn't even nearly the same thing, and it's frankly insulting to have that compared to a woman actually losing agency over, say, their own bodies or other things we tend to see as "agency".

[megalomaniageek.livejournal.com]

Me: People, especially women, are considered rude if...
You: Women? Everyone is rude when...

Read harder.

Also, if you actually did read, you'd see that in every instance I've asserted that people (and remember, that means everyone, not just women) ARE being rude when they ignore somebody. What I am saying is that you are also considered rude in most cases when you say "I don't want to talk to you." I couldn't imagine a situation where I'd feel any more polite or comfortable saying that than just groaning internally and letting the other person talk endlessly to me about shit I don't care about. That's the polite thing to do, but it sucks.
Thing is, and again this is why I say things and explain things, I wasn't saying she had no agency. I'm saying she has to choose between exercising it and being rude, or not exercising it and being miserable. If rudeness is the thing in question, which it is, this is relevant. If basic survival is the thing in question, then rudeness is hopefully irrelevant (although if you read things like Gavin de Becker's "The Gift of Fear" and similar writings, it is pointed out that predators use the socialization of people - especially women - against saying no, even to unwanted advances, to their advantage).

Also, it's not that easy to draw the line between when a person is responding rationally to creepiness or being rude to somebody who just wanted to be nice. The guy in Walgreens who talked my ear off for a half hour about recovering from coke addiction sure as hell was bothering me but he seemed nice enough. I didn't think he wanted to hurt me, but then I wasn't entirely sure either.

[vicfrankenstein.livejournal.com]

You say interesting things that I've enjoyed reading.

It's set me to thinking about a couple exes who I was friends with after we broke up who suddenly cut contact (without blocking me or unfriending me on Facebook, AIM, Steam, etc...) as well as my aunt, who regularly talks to me while I'm clearly doing other shit (gaming with a headset on, for example) or just fucking stares at me... to get my attention, I think.

Much less weird that dealing with a guy who wants to chat about his coke addiction, yeah, but it's interesting to think about what would be polite and comfortable for everyone in these cases.

I could go check out the ffrants wank, but maaan I gotta go back to work and NOT punch a hole into my computer.