[ SECRET POST #1852 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1852 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 09 pages, 205 secrets from Secret Submission Post #265.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Umm, sorry to put this here but I could really do with somewhere to talk about this where I'm not going to run into mutual friends.

There's this person who I follow on Tumblr, we chat through reblogging and ask boxes, they're fun and I like talking to them.

And I've just discovered they're a total misogynist. They goaded a woman by reblogging her explanation of why she found a particular male behavior towards women hurtful, spewing all these disgusting comments about how she was the reason people think all women are bitchy and insisting she was making everything about sex and should stop assuming that all people cared about was spreading their legs (when her point was that men partake of the aforementioned behavior specifically to get sex). when she responded and tried to make her point clear, they reblogged again mocking her for taking offensive and being so sensitive that she had to reblog to talk about her feelings~, even though that's exactly what this misogynist did in the first place.

I just kind of backed away from Tumblr and haven't been back since. Because I don't know how to react. They were patting themselves on the back for having showed that "stupid little girl", their other friends were doing the same.

I don't want to be part of that. I had to close the window to keep myself from responding to it all. Thing is, I don't want to get involved in a confrontation. And they're something of a BNF, and I don't really feel like getting run out of fandom. They also keep an obsessive eye on their followers, so it would be noticed if I unfollowed.

I kind of feel like shit, because fandom is my hobby and I don't want to be pulled into a fight, but I don't want to have to see that kind of attitude from somebody I thought was nice. I don't know, I just needed to vent I guess. I still don't know what to do - it's easy to say "you should give them a piece of your mind" but it'll also see me being run out of my happy place.

[(Anonymous)]

if i were in your situation, i'd probably just quietly unfollow them and anyone who agreed with them. it doesn't need to be a big dramatic thing unless they decide to make it into a whole production of why-did-you-unfollow-me, in which case you could just ignore them or tell the truth. ignoring them would probably make them think, what a bitch, but they can't start drama if you're not providing any, you know? and telling the truth could go either way, depending on how you phrase it to them.

[hunter-san.livejournal.com]

I'd say unfollow them. If they choose to message you - ignore them. Sounds like they would just use a reply as a launch point to attack you and someone who polices people unfollowing is kind of a warning strike in my books. If they send their followers out to you/abusive messages - report them on tumblr? (I'm only a casual user, but I'm assuming there's a block or contact admin option? They were very helpful hen I had login issues


You can't be pulled into a fight online if you don't respond (well, not for long). Tempting as it is, they don't sound like someone who would listen to your explanation :/

Good luck anon!

[(Anonymous)]

A friend of mine had a situation on Tumblr with someone harassing her and reported them; she was told there was nothing they could do, which she thought was a bunch of shit. The person harassing her ended up deleting their account, so sorted itself out in the end.

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, that's horrible. :< If you don't feel comfortable getting pulled into it, and not even comfortable to unfollow, then if I were you I guess I'd just start ignoring their posts. Hope things work out.

[cloud-riven.livejournal.com]

They sound like a total asshat.

Since you want to avoid confrontation, and it doesn't sound like likely that you'd ever even casually call them on it ("whoa. hey there, friend. that ain't nice/fair."), unfollowing sounds like the obvious thing to do.

It's not as though you can't still converse with her about things you do like though. I'm assuming you might still consider this person a friend of sorts, and you just don't approve of their behaviour. You'll just have to use her tags (also assuming she has some method of organizing her posts) to skim past the posts of douchbaggery.

[(Anonymous)]

First off, I have a lot of respect for the fact that you feel the need to step away from a BNF because of their behavior rather than follow them and their actions like a blind robot the way the other fans are probably doing right now. I wouldn't unfriend them just yet though, but I don't know what your fandom is like. Is it a very big fandom or small? Because I'd be looking around online to make sure there's not somewhere else I could go to get away from that particular crowd, lj, a forum, or somewhere besides tumblr where this person and their followers aren't likely to be and where the people who are there are friendly and non-judgemental. And chances are there are other people on that person's friends list who feel the same way you do but are afraid to speak up. Hopefully you won't have to completely leave the fandom just because you disagree with one person.

[(Anonymous)]

Hate to burst your bubble, but right now you ARE being run out of your 'happy place'. You're letting this chick's theoretical power upset you way too much. Just unfollow her, and if she tries to attack you by reblogging you? Don't look. I promise you, there are going to be other people out there (maybe silent, invisible people like you) who also think this is a bunch of horseshit, and they would applaud you for taking your leave.