[ SECRET POST #1870 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1870 ⌋


Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 67 secrets from Secret Submission Post #267.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeats ]
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom.livejournal.com]

28. http://i44.tinypic.com/2lp8gg.jpg

[noforcenosound.livejournal.com]

I'm 24 and everyone I know is getting married, while I've never even had a long term relationship or a desire for one. They make me feel better too. Maybe I'll find a love late in my life like John will, maybe I'll never find one like Sherlock, and that would be alright too. For some reason I thought it was awesome how Sarah made John sleep on the couch, too, because I've often been the Sarah there and my boyfriends-of-four-dates always acted surprised that I was making them sleep on the futon haha.

[(Anonymous)]

Why would you invite a boyfriend over to spend the night just to make him sleep on the futon? If you're not 12 and it isn't a pajama party, sex is a reasonable expectation when a girlfriend of any number of dates invites you over for the night.

[(Anonymous)]

Because they want to hang out with them and not sleep with them? It's not that hard of a concept, really.

[noforcenosound.livejournal.com]

nope

and I didn't invite either of them, one was having roommate troubles and needed a place to stay and the other was too drunk to go home

sex isn't an "expectation" and if they don't like it they can dealwithit.jpg

[valenciapilgrim.livejournal.com]

Tru all of dat!

[shinydinosaur.livejournal.com]

+1

[(Anonymous)]

+1 to you.


I'm personaly still quite young, but I'm not rushing to be in a relationship. I feel like romance and marriage in general are just a sidequest in life and shouldn't be everyone's main goal.
Also, Robert Downey Jr met his perfect wife at 39 so yeah. Not in a hurry.

[(Anonymous)]

that just makes you sound like a dick.
Going on dates doesn't mean I've promised sex of any kind! Not even if I'm letting you sleep over.
I think this just makes you sound like a horny, immature, teenager... Each to their own I guess...

[lovelorn-x.livejournal.com]

This!

[deadtree.livejournal.com]

I'm lucky in that, at 27, a lot of my friends are like me and not particularly interested in marriage... but I do wonder how long that will last. I'll always be the odd one out because I'm asexual and they're not (most of them have long-term partners). Situations at my workplace, where I'm the ONLY one not married with kids other than the teenage temp, can be awkward for me since I don't have the same frame of reference. I hope it doesn't end up like that with my friends.

[citrinesunset.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it's because my parents married in their 30's, but the idea of finding "the one" before I'm 30 feels very strange to me. I don't think I'd want to settle down before then, and it seems odd to me that people my own age and younger are married/getting married.

[(Anonymous)]

Same. My parents were unmarried, had children in their thirties, and my mum worked while my dad stayed at home. I realised that this final thing was unusual fairly early on, but I honestly grew up believing 100% that by the time I was in my twenties, marriage would have become totally obsolete and everyone would be waiting to have children until they were in their thirties.

Boy was I ever wrong.

[van.livejournal.com]

I'm 30 and know exactly how you feel, ahahaha. Part of me is sad that I'm still single, but a lot of it is because of all that societal pressure, so. Yeah. My students especially seem to feel sorry for me, but I guess 30 to them is ANCIENT, hahaha.

[la-petite-singe.livejournal.com]

Good point. I like that idea.

[shukivengeance.livejournal.com]

I'm 28 and married, none of my friends are. I do empathize though because I'm like the only one who hasn't popped out any babies and has no intention to, ever. There's still the same weirdness and expectations regarding it. Ugh.

[fenm.livejournal.com]

Agreed. And I like that that's it (almost) canon that Sherlock's a virgin despite being, what, 35? (-:

[randomrape.livejournal.com]

+|

[(Anonymous)]

Jesus, I'm 26 and I get weird looks for not being married or having kids. And I live in a small town where the majority of people marry and have children right out of high school, so it looks doubly wrong to them that I don't want either of those things for myself.

I try to avoid those conversations because I always end up feeling ashamed for no good reason, but I never connected Sherlock and John to this situation. I'm going to try and remember this.

[(Anonymous)]

Is this pressure to get married in your 20's a cultural thing? My parents got married when they were 31 and 33 and it was supposed to be the norm in their country.

[(Anonymous)]

Regional/cultural/class-based. Average age of kid-having for my peers is about 30-36, but a lot marry in their 20s. The incentives are different in the US, where there can be significant tax breaks and insurance benefits are a consideration. I married at 28, and I did it then rather than ~30 because of the benefits. If we were definitely going to do it anyway, might as well do it now and save a significant amount of money. In some communities, though, the norm is marry and have a kid or two before age 24.

[(Anonymous)]

I think it depends on where exactly you're from. In small towns in Canada, people who don't move away tend to get married and/or have kids right out of high school. AFAIK, the average age at which people are getting married *is* on the rise in many countries. Can't say for sure though.

[(Anonymous)]

In my personal experience, it's not so much pressure as it is an assumption and it's not so much marriage per se as it is a serious, long-term relationship (which might lead to marriage eventually although the actual act of marriage could be considerably delayed). Note that the secret says "paired off" not "married" - that wasn't in there just to avoid heteronormativity.

But, yes, cultural relativity always comes into play. YMMV.

-OP

[mutantjules.livejournal.com]

I like that.

[(Anonymous)]

After witnessing my parents' divorce and listening to them say why it didn't work out (years after the divorce when they got all their angst out), I've become comfortable with potentially never marrying. My mother was saying that if you have even a sliver of doubt, you should seriously listen to that, because she never did, and the thing that she doubted about my father just magnified as they became older and they eventually started hating each other. Marriage is a very serious commitment and divorce is a headache, so I'd rather get married at 50 and feel like I've truly met the person for me, than get married at 30 because I'm panicking about dying alone or whatever.