case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2012-04-10 06:36 pm

[ SECRET POST #1925 ]


⌈ Secret Post #1925 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 070 secrets from Secret Submission Post #275.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat (same text, different image) ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-10 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Curious, is it the lying or the abortion that makes them a shitty person? What if OP had spent the money on a new outfit instead?

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-10 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
nayrt

I think that would be even worse. At least the abortion probably helped them in the long run. Straight up spending the money on something just for vanity would have been shittier

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-10 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
They go in tandem. The lying is shitty whether it's an abortion or a dress. But I think duping people into paying for an abortion is shittier than duping them into paying for a dress. Because there are a lot of people for whom abortion goes against something they believe to their core, and OP took away their autonomy about whether to support that (and I don't find it unreasonable that there are anti-abortion fandom-ers who keep their beliefs quiet.)

For the record, if OP had been honest with the people she was getting money from, I wouldn't have a problem with the secret at all (other than profound sadness at a life being lost and a system that doesn't do enough to help prevent unwanted pregnancies).

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-10 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Same Anon: I realize that if she had been honest, there would be no secret, but you see what I meant, right? I have no problem with OP asking for help to get an abortion. I have a problem with OP doing what she did.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 12:08 am (UTC)(link)
IA whole-heartedly, anon. I personally could not have justified it to myself and my own moral if I had knowingly supported an abortion. In fact, this secret has made me even less trusting of fandom, which sucks, because I like being able to trust my friends.

(frozen comment)

[identity profile] kikkyo.livejournal.com 2012-04-11 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
This exactly. Honestly, I tried to say this exact same thing somewhere else in this thread but you worded it better than I did.

The sad part is that it may not have even been necessary. Much of fandom seems to be very liberal on these types of subjects, so it's possible that this person may not have lost much respect from others if they'd been truthful, and they might have even had more people willing to send donations due to their situation. Or at least, I imagine that there are more people out there than just me who are a little wary of sending donations to the BNF/semi-BNF needing money for 'computer repairs.'

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 04:05 am (UTC)(link)
Because there are a lot of people for whom abortion goes against something they believe to their core, and OP took away their autonomy about whether to support that

I've got no issues with abortion whatsoever, but I completely agree with you. I feel like being pro-choice is actually relevant, because I feel like people deserve the right to choose what they support. For instance, I don't believe tax money should support religious institutions because I do not support religions, but the government is basically choosing for me to do it anyways. While the OP certainly wasn't forcing her friends to give her money, she did mislead them into (perhaps) supporting something they may not agree with. (Though I'd hope her friends would have supported her, even if they didn't support the decision.)

That said, I feel like the OP was in a horribly tough spot and I sympathize. I don't think what she did was right, but when emotions are running high and you don't know what to do (especially when you're stuck financially), making the right decisions can be... well, really tough. I think we've all been there, and I don't think it makes the OP a bad person whatsoever.