Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2012-04-10 06:36 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2012-04-10 06:36 pm
[ SECRET POST #1925 ]
⌈ Secret Post #1925 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 070 secrets from Secret Submission Post #275.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat (same text, different image) ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
(frozen comment) no subject
The problem here isn't the abortion - getting an abortion is your choice, and nobody should ever be able to make that decision for you. I'm glad you were able to get one and don't regret it.
The problem is that you took advantage of the kindness of your friends/followers. That's a completely shitty thing to do. Especially if any of those people happened to be pro-life, you just took their money and put it to a cause they don't support, and that's really not fair to them. Regardless of my opinions on abortion, I'd just be pissed at the fact that I was told my money would be used for one thing, and was used for something completely different. How would you feel if you found out someone did this to you (not necessarily this situation, but the deceit part)? It's an issue of trust.
Like others have said, I think most people in fandom would more than likely donate if they knew the truth, and the ones who don't support abortion wouldn't have their money going to a cause they don't support.
Whether or not you choose to come clean to everyone, that's your choice. I hope whichever one you choose is right for you. I'm sorry you had to be put in this situation in the first place... but lying wasn't the way to go about it.
(frozen comment) no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 02:07 am (UTC)(link)OP, if I was one of your followers, I would have been happy to donate to you if had been truthful about your situation (and I really do mean that. If one of my online friends revealed they were in desperate need for funding for their abortion, I would try my very best to come up with some money, because I know what a rough spot that is). But tricking your friends into giving you money for one thing and then turning around and using that money for something else is wrong no matter how good your reason is. I'm happy you got to terminate your pregnancy and I'm sure the abortion you got was the best possible course of action for you personally and that you're better off for it, but yes you should feel guilty about what you did to your friends. I really feel bad for any of your followers who are pro-life (even though I don't agree with their values at all), because not only did you trick them into giving you money, but they would probably be appalled that they essentially aided in committing what they view as murder. And that's an awful position to put someone in.
(frozen comment) no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 02:44 am (UTC)(link)We can guess that people would still donate towards an abortion, but we don't know that.
We do know that there's a (good) chance that asking for donations for an abortion would have resulted in online harassment that may have escalated into real life harassment (has happened in fandoms for way less - happened recently over shipping wars). Also, it might have ended up getting a shit ton of attention if it had gone viral (abortion is a hot enough topic that while unlikely, it might have happened) which may have allowed the OP to get her abortion or may have resulted in even more real life harassment perhaps even getting in the way of getting her abortion.
We weren't there with the OP when she made her choice. We don't know what her options were. I think the lie was the lesser or two evils if the other option was being forced to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term.
(frozen comment) no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 03:01 am (UTC)(link)I don't know what all was happening, but there is no reason on earth why the OP had to actively lie.
(frozen comment) no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 03:06 am (UTC)(link)(frozen comment) no subject
(Anonymous) 2012-04-11 03:18 am (UTC)(link)(frozen comment) no subject
Anyway, I understand what you are saying: we DON'T know the position the OP was in. But all this secret directly states is that she needed the money, and lied to get it. She could have felt the need to lie for any number of reasons. But it doesn't change the fact that she completely took advantage of the kindness of her friends/followers. Deceiving people who trust you is a shitty thing to do, regardless of your reasons.