[ SECRET POST #1951 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1951 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 102 secrets from Secret Submission Post #279.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Judging from the OP's drawing, the situation is one try at worship, one try at connection, and one sharp rejection. And it does look like a face to face interaction (although I expanded on that to the internet.) That's not anywhere near the level of acting "too friendly" or "buddy buddy".

It is possible to extract yourself from an awkward conversation gracefully, without telling the person that wants to speak to you that they're being creepy. Especially when the level that we're seeing in the OP's post doesn't come anywhere near the level of creepy.

C'mon, we were all newbies at least once!

[(Anonymous)]

Of course the OP doesn't think they're creepy and the secret portrays it that way. Nobody would go be creepy on purpose.

If the person they're talking to thought they were creepy though they're perfectly in their rights to state so and disengage. Would you insist the BNF continue talking and being friendly toward someone she feels is creepy? How is that fair at all?

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Come on, haven't you had any practice at all at dodging a guy who wants to "buy you a cup of coffee?" The last thing in the world you'd say is "try asking me if I want tea instead."

Disengaging is fine with me. Saying "you're creepy" when you're disengaging, on a first encounter, especially when you've just said something that invites further interaction, is not so fine. I don't blame the OP for being crestfallen.

[(Anonymous)]

You're arguing that the BNF should be nicer. I agree with that. OP is arguing that they shouldn't disengage when they feel s/he is creepy. I disagree with that.

How many of those guys who offer to ~buy you a cup of coffee complain that "she never gave me a chance!"? Would you argue that the girl in question should give all those guys a chance? That's what OP seems to want, after the BNF has clearly stated the find OP creepy.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Go look at the cartoon again. OP isn't saying that people shouldn't disengage, OP is saying that they wish they could talk to the BNF's without getting shut down.

First attempt is worshipful. Cartoon BNF says "treat me like you would another fan".

Second attempt is the way OP would treat another fan -- in fact, it's exactly how OP is treating another BNF in the next panel after shutting down the OP character with the accusation of creepiness.

You'll notice that the OP character doesn't make a third try.

Sure, OP would probably be a lot happier ignoring whether or not someone is a BNF in the first place, but the Cartoon BNF's behavior doesn't leave any options for a conversation at all. And I wouldn't have jumped into the comments (probably) if they hadn't made me feel like OP was getting jumped on for even trying to talk to a BNF at all.

Haven't you ever had anyone you really wanted to talk to for more than a couple of sentences? How do YOU do it without getting being called a creep?

[(Anonymous)]

But how long did these separate tries go on for? One conversation? Weeks? Months? You have no idea. They represent different situations but OP might have attempted #1 or #2 for weeks. You can't tell.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Neither can you. All either of us have to go on is the scenario which is presented in the cartoon, which gives us only the two interactions. Without further data from the OP, that's all we've got to work with.

[(Anonymous)]

And the other BNF might be their actual friend.

I'm in no way a BNF and I'd get away ASAP if someone approached me in the second way, even if it is at a con. I hate and am incredibly creeped out/uncomfortable with people being overly familiar with me.