[ SECRET POST #1951 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1951 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 102 secrets from Secret Submission Post #279.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[mika-kun.livejournal.com]

I was specifically replying to the situation the anon described, where the BNF just didn't want to be friends with no creepiness on the OPs part.

[velvet-mace.livejournal.com]

It was a cartoon... I don't know how you could determine that the OP wasn't being creepy. Both responses by the BNF suggest that the OP was laying it on pretty thick. The fact that the OP still wants to pursue a friendship with the BNF after being very clearly rejected rings rather stalkerish to me.

[mika-kun.livejournal.com]

I don't really think "treat me like a normal person" is a clear rejection. In fact, it actually seems like an invitation to continue contact because it's a statement about how the BNF would like to be treated in the future.

Also, I, once again, my comment was specifically in response to the specific situation the anon described (not necessarily identical to the OPs comic). In the specific situation the anon described the BNF wasn't creeped out, they just didn't want to be friends.

[velvet-mace.livejournal.com]

Treat me like a normal person suggests that the OP wasn't treating the BNF like a normal person. IE: they were fangirling to an uncomfortable extent. I've been on the receiving end of excessive fangirling and I've felt uncomfortable because of it. To give you an extent of how bad and creepy fangirling can get, I've had a fan tell me she wanted to "violently rape" me once as a sign of how much she loved me. I know it wasn't a serious threat but still, you know, fuck. Not on.

"Stop talking to me, you are creeping me out," should be very, very clear as a rejection. I mean, I can't think of any way you can reject someone on line in stronger terms. And still the OP wants the BNF to pay attention to her. What does the BNF have to do to make the OP go away?

[(Anonymous)]

What this secret reminds me of:

Nice Guy: I love you and you are perfect beyond compare. Allow me to put you upon this pedestal of pure gold and sing your praises. I will also kiss the ground you walk upon, my goddess. You are so cool.

Girl: You know, that makes me really uncomfortable. How about you talk to me like I'm a normal person?

Nice Guy: Oh. Then, let us discuss your favorite TV show. How do you feel about character A? How do you feel about that there plot event B? My, I sure am interested in story direction C. Let me tell you all about what I think about everything. Tell me what you think, too, because I know you're interested in this stuff, I checked it on your lj and deviantart. This is discussion. We have mutual interests. Have we connected? Are we friends yet? Can we be friends? Look how much we have in common.

Girl: Um. You're kind of creeping me out now.

Nice Guy: WHY WON'T ANY OF YOU BITCHES GIVE ME A CHANCE? I'M SO NICE TO YOU!!

[(Anonymous)]

Oh and the part where even if the girl directly tells him he's creeping her out, he doesn't think he's possibly doing anything wrong and it's completely unjustified always, because people totally just call others creepy all the time for no reason. Or they're just meeean.

[mika-kun.livejournal.com]

I never said that "Stop talking to me, you are creeping me out" wasn't a rejection. It is and I never said it wasn't.

I said that "Treat me like a normal person" wasn't a rejection. And it isn't. It's a requests for a change in behavior during future conversations. Of course it means that the OP wasn't treating the BNF like a normal person originally, but it also implies that further contact is okay on the condition that the OP adjusts their behavior so that it's more appropriate.

The example you gave was both creepy and excessive fangirling.

[velvet-mace.livejournal.com]

"Treat me like a normal person" was a warning -- you don't say that to people who you want to hang out with you, you say that to people who are making you uncomfortable. You are creeping me out was a blunt rejection. This secret shows that neither had any effect whatsoever on the OP.

[mika-kun.livejournal.com]

Err... in the secret the OP does, in fact, change their behavior. Radically even.

They go from gushing excessively to attempting to start a conversation about canon (which is overly familiar and presumptuous (and potentially creepy) if they don't know the BNF. Obviously they still don't get it right, but it clearly had an effect.

[velvet-mace.livejournal.com]

What I see from all three panels is the OP saying "BNF pay attention to ME!" That's the thread. You know you don't have to be a horrible person for someone not to want to be friends with you, especially a person who already has a full social plate. But coming on too strong and too demanding of attention is a pretty good way to turn people off.

[mika-kun.livejournal.com]

No one's arguing that the OP didn't desire attention/friendship.

You said that what the BNF said in the first panel had no effect. This is not true. The OP's desire for attention/friendship may not have changed but their behavior did (it still wasn't right, but it changed). That means that the BNF's request had an effect.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

Looking at the comment thread it's becoming clear that "treat me like a normal person" is being interpreted in two different ways. Some folks are reading it as "go away, kid, you bother me" and others are reading it as "tone it down and try again".

As for your last question, in the cartoon the OP does go away. The BNF can't stop them from wishing that they could have a conversation (who can ever stop anyone from wishing?), but the behavior we're shown is that the person stops trying to talk to the BNF.