[ SECRET POST #1956 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #1956 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.
[They Might Be Giants]


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02.
[Uraboku]


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03.
[A Game of Thrones, Sansa/Littlefinger]


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04.
[ILLBLEED, Kingdom Hearts]


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05.


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06.


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07.


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08.


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09.


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10.
[Game of Thrones]


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11. http://i47.tinypic.com/5fjfpl.jpg
[not explicit porn but erring on caution; live action]


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12. http://i46.tinypic.com/2ug01sk.jpg
[not explicit porn but erring on caution; illustrated]


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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]
















13. [SPOILERS for Mass Effect 3]



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14. [SPOILERS for ASOIAF]



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15. [SPOILERS for Legend of Korra]



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16. [SPOILERS for Persona 4]



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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

















17. [TRIGGER WARNING for incest]



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18. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



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19. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



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20. [TRIGGER WARNING for rape]



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Notes:

If you or anyone you know in fandom writes poetry, check this out. You may be being plagiarized. Note: Please do NOT hassle the publishing company itself. They've agreed to pull the book; we're waiting for it to come down from all the eBook sites. We still don't know the entire contents of the book, though - or who else has been stolen from (there is a clear fandom-author connection, however).


Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #279.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

[[Wasn't sure if you meant you wanted a summary or the actual text. Uh, summary: OP realised through fic that she wants to be a sub in a D/S relationship. OP struggled with this for a while but came to accept it - but OP's friend is not quite as accepting. Despite OP trying to explain the concept of D/S, her friend still thinks she'll come to be abused in such a relationship, and now OP's back to being uncomfortable with her sexuality, and wishing she'd never found fic to make her realise she's a sub.
And if it's the actual text you wanted...]]

Through various fandoms (but especially SPN, the No. 1 fandom for kinkiness) I realized that I want to be the sub in a d/s relationship.
It was hard for me to accept this because my parental home is really conservative and I only live in a small village.
The first time I read a fic with rape I was so ashamed of myself. How could I enjoy such a horrible thing?
But still… I couldn’t forget the lust I felt and I re-read the fic and then I start to search for similar fics. It was a vicious circle with lust and shame and self hate. Finally I realized that I enjoyed these fics only because the victim starts to enjoy the feeling of powerlessness.
I don’t want to be raped, I only want to be “forced” in my luck.
I struggled so much with this insight but I start to accept it.
It is still better than to be a girl who gets off on rape.
During a talk with my best friend about her problems with her ex and sex generally I mentioned that I want to part of a d/s relationship. I only wanted to comfort her with the fact that everybody struggles with their sexual identity but her opinion is that I will be a puppet.
Helpless, abused, forced, transformed in a victim.
I tried to explain my feelings and the concept of d/s but in the end I only felt… ashamed. And now?
Now
- I wish I had never admit it.
- I wish she would stop to see me in a different light.
- I wish I would have “normal” sexual urges.
- I wish I could stop to read such things or imagine such scenarios.
- I wish that I had never found such things through the fandom.
Sry for the long text and my English.